Missing that rush...

[Infinity1199]

Hi guys,

I know it's not really an important issue compared to you guys. my heart goes out to all of you and hope you find true happiness soon.

I've been diagnosed with Severe Depression and Anxiety/stress issues so I'm probably not always fun to be around...but I've been trying to get better which means I've been getting back into my social life.

I've been a lot more open and happy with my family and friends, I'm honestly proud to say I managed to repair relationships I though would be lost to me forever. but there's a problem

and it's called my dating life.

By the way guys I'm gay, so it's one of those stories 🙂

I thought I did ok, I had a few dates and 2 relationships since I came out. but since my diagnosis I've lost that confidence in myself. you know what I'm talking about, that confidence that inspires you to take charge, feel confident when your with someone and actually connect with someone who gets you.

Well for the past few months I just haven't felt that.

My dates have kind of sucked. I've tried to make an effort but I just can't click with people. I don't know what I'm during wrong to be honest.

But no matter what I do, sitting in the corner is those 2 evil demons called Depression and Loneliness. they are constantly lurking in the shadows, making me doubt everything about myself and cackling their evil little laugh...

I need your advice...

what did you guys do to feel confident again?

[White_Rose]

Dear Infinity

Welcome to the forum. I see you have been answering other posts which is great. I'm not gay and neither am I a male but I think dating is dating no matter your preference. It seems your depression is having a huge effect on your life which makes the lack of confidence not surprising.

I do applaud you for making the effort to socialise because when we are severely depressed it is so hard to even get out of the house. I am also impressed that you have confided in your family and friends, something many people find difficult. Going out with your friends to simply enjoy their company is one thing. Looking for someone you can click with and have a good relationship is more difficult.

I have found these long term relationships take time to develop. I know there are occasions when you meet someone and there is instant friendship. That's great. But it does not always happen like that. It seems to me we gradually warm up to the relationship.

How much effect do you think your depression is having on meeting someone? At the worst times of depression I simply had little energy to for anything more than general friendliness and often I would go home earlier than the others because of being tired. So it's not surprising you feel unable to be your normal self.

I'm sure you know all this and wonder why I am saying the obvious. Sometimes the obvious is what we do not see. May I suggest you concentrate on getting well again. Enjoy your friends' company and going out. Give yourself some brownie points for doing just that. Gradually your evil twins will lose their grip on your life leaving to enjoy all the activities you once did including dating. You have already made a good start.

May I ask if you have any professional help? This can be a great help in regaining your confidence. Think of your confidence as a muscle in your body. The more you exercise the stronger you get.

If it helps please continue to post in here.

Mary