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Miserable

Goanna02
Community Member
Hi, first time using this forum. Hope I’m posting this in the correct area. I’m feeling so miserable. My husband has his birthday today. I’m meant to go to a bbq with his friends and their partners who all know each other. I’m not feeling well at all, I’m teary and feel like I should go along with him. I’m not great at socialising at the best of times, and am feeling really bad if I don’t go with him. He has already left and is waiting for me to turn up. I feel as though I don’t fit in with his group of friends as am not a big drinker (they all are). I’m just so sad and tired and have no energy. He suffers from back pain and is normally down and negative and snappy and says he doesn’t want to live every day. This brings me even more sadness and I feel guilty if I don’t go and try to enjoy this night with him. I am normally feeling down most days, but today I feel 10 times worse. Sorry for the big essay. Does anyone else feel like this with their partner/husband?
6 Replies 6

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Goanna,

I don't have a partner/spouse, so I thought I would just welcome you to the forum. I think your post is in the right place.

Warm regards,

mmMekitty

Petal22
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Goanna02,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Im sorry you feel down most days, have you thought about talking to your gp about the way you are feeling?

Is your husband aware of the way you feel around his friends?

Maybe your self and your husband could just go out the two of you to celebrate his birthday.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Goanna, I'm not sure you're alone in how you are feeling, especially if they're big drinkers and you're not and what they say and behave like are not for everyone as the day/night continues.

The concern is how you and your husband are feeling because if you are both unwell mentally, then one feeds the other in how they behave, talk and act every day, encouraging the other to feel down along with them.

Are you able to front up to the bbq for 5 or 10 minutes, then you may have satisfied your husband and then if you decide you can go home, it's just the brief appearance from you, if however, it's going to be too difficult, then don't go.

Another option to consider besides this is to think about getting the help you and your husband need because from what you have told us there is much the two of you need to talk about with someone who is trained, as there seem to be several issues that need to be sorted out.

If you like you can talk with us as it's best we don't indicate these problems unless we actually know.

Take care.

Geoff.

Sophia16
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums. I am sorry for what you going through. I can see that you are feeling tired and helpless.

Have you told your husband about how you have felt? Communication is really important and i am sure he will understand.

Stay safe and i am here to chat if you need me.

Goanna02
Community Member
Thanks everyone for your thoughtful and kind words and welcome. I took your advice and showed up for a while. It was awkward for a bit but I stuck it out.
Im feeling like I need to get some counselling to help me through these issues with my husband. I think I need some support in coping with supporting my husband with his chronic pain. Thanks again for your support, I felt quite lost in my own head yesterday

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Anytime, Goanna. If there is more you'd like to talk about, we'll be here.

Warm wishes, & Happy New Year.

mmMekitty