Lying husband

[Britty2024]

Hi 

I really need someone to talk too my husband and I have been together 14 years since the very beginning he has cheated on me numerous times the big one was with my childhood best friend which I no long talk to  he has constantly lied to me about message other girls with intentions.

he use to bully about having feeling and crying when I found out about these to the point I very very rarely cry in front of anyone I don’t talk about my feeling I’m very insecure about myself  and body as I’m a big girl 

his hasn’t bullied me about freezing since the very start of our relationship he now what to talk about feeling but I struggle to open up.

he is still continuing to message other girls behind my back and lie to my face when I confront him about this last time was 3 weeks ago and again today. 3 weeks ago he promised me once again this was going to stop and the lies would stop he would be 100% honest with me and we would both start talking about our relationship and I would try opening up more we have been making trying for each other and trying no to let our busy lives come between us and today I seen more messages he had been messaging another girl I’m struggling so much with ky mental health and self worth  I don’t understand why I put up with this behaviour I know I deserve better I know that I need to leave but every single time I believe him and believe things will get better I know better

i don’t understand why I can’t just walk away and do what is best for me  I don’t understand why I’m not good enough 

please no hate I just need to talk to someone 

[white knight]

Hi welcome

There is no hate here only care.

It's a strange fact why people remain in a relationship when evidence is clear they are deceitful, but you are not alone, it is quite common and very sad for those in your situation.

The people that cause the problem of emotional or physical affairs also know that if they stick to their stories (when found out) the lack of confidence in their spouse will ensure that their lies will win, that their spouse wont leave as their confidence is very low and I can see your confidence is way down. 

So my only suggestion is you seek a counsellor for yourself to sort out your lack of confidence and body image problems. You really need someone to tell you that you are valued, a beautiful person and you deserve the very best of treatment. Every human does and I feel so sad for you that you are treated this way.

If you are going to leave you need a plan and with the housing crisis you can know there is accommodation available unless you move in with family or friends. So begin to think about this and you could attend your GP doctor to arrange for 10 free visits to a mental health professional... its worth it.

I hope you feel better soon. 

TonyWK

[Britty2024]

Thank you very much I was so worried about posting because of haters I understand what I need to  I just don’t have the confidence I need  I have been to marriage counseling but he didn’t like it because I told them everything he had done and he thought I was attacking him.

The biggest reason I haven’t left is I live rural and the way the rental market it I wouldn’t be able to afford to live on my own.

I don’t know how to feel atm I’m extremely hurt I have been 100% honest faithful and respectful our whole 14 year relationship I don’t understand why it isn’t the same. I constantly feel like im not good enough.

[white knight]

you do know deep down that you are good enough right?  Is there a caravan park nearby that has vans to rent? In rural areas they often have empty caravans that are rented out seasonally that they prefer filled medium to long term.

This site has no haters, it is moderated and anonymous. You are safe here.

I hope you are ok. The only remedy for your low self esteem is to make some tough decisions or remain in your current situation.. There is no middle option sadly.

TonyWK