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I am nearly 60 years old. Was in a very volatile relationship for 15 year’s. I finally had enough with him about 1 month ago. He was not affectionate at all, no cuddles no kisses, nothing, and I’d had enough, so I walked out with my things. We didn’t live together, we had in the past. I would drive 1/2 hour to visit. His daughter lives next door, and she has 3 beautiful children, my grandchildren. They loved me , and I them. They have been banned from seeing me. So I lost them as well. And I miss them terribly. I’m retired. And this virus is so so awful, with everything else going on. I feel lost, so lonely, and just want to curl up and die. And I don’t know what to do.
2 Replies 2

Hey Cheryanne, welcome to the Beyond Blue forums. We know it can be confronting to open up about our issues and can be difficult to post here, so thank you so much for having the strength to share your story with us today.
We're so sorry to hear how lonely and isolated you're feeling. We can imagine losing your partner and his family would be such a big change in your life. Is there any family member you could contact during this time to talk about these feelings?

Can we also ask if you are still receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time.  Please remember to reach out when you're feeling overwhelmed and needing to talk it through. You're never alone. In these moments you can get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Cheryanne,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue community. I'm saddened to hear about what you have been going through recently. I understand with the pandemic going on, it does put further strain on our minds and our relationships with others.

Congratulations on leaving a volatile relationship. It sounds like this was not a very loving partnership, I am proud of your initiative to move forward as you innately know you deserve much better. I understand making such a decision can entail some losses, such as no longer having the relationship with your ex-partner and his affiliates such as his daughter and your grandchildren. I understand this can be quite distressing as you care for these children. This is quite obscure that they have 'banned' you from seeing your grandchildren, this is more of a reflection of their emotional and mental level rather than yours.

Unfortunately, some decisions inevitably entail some losses, however some decisions also entail some wins. For example, you have escaped a volatile relationship after 15 years! Could you bear another 5 years? Maybe not, to take back your happiness and your desire for better, is quite a win in itself. Although it may be a sacrifice, your mental and emotional well-being is equally important.

I hope later on when the situation settles down, and emotions diffuse. You are able to reach your grandchildren again and organise times to meet up. This can be quite a frustrating time due to the pandemic and restrictions given by your state, do you have anyone you can talk to or receive social support from?