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Lost for what to do in my relationship with my wife???

Community Member

In the beginning of our relationship things were amazing, what I guess they call the honeymoon period. Over the first few years my second wife accepted my two children, and they did her as their step-mum. Now years later there is undue hostility triggering all manner of arguments (minor ones) which now end in threats of divorce... to force a win in her favor when she knows I love her and want to be with her. On top of that she now acts like I am a useless 'participant' in our marriage when in fact I am the only one attempting to have a conversation, she likes to hear and be informed and learn everything about my day every evening, then when I ask about her day all I get is a measly three word answer that 'It was okay", then her leaving the conversation is dead in the water. I then get constant criticism that I know nothing about what is going on in her life, where I have to remind her that I continuously ask and get no communication to be informed about what is happening in her day-to-day.

Of course as you can imagine this is extremely frustrating for me, I am trying my best to be supportive and loving and I am not given any information to know what is going on in her life. I now am not only expected to work full-time to support my two kids of my first marriage but also are expected that I must do the entire housework (indoor and outdoors) as my career is not as important as hers. She comes home and expects dinner prepared and laundry done so she can just relax (we both have desk jobs dealing with clients). I am starting to feel emotionally exhausted, apparently everything is my fault and I don't listen (hard when there is nothing to listen to).

What advice can you give me?

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Yando, you do a hell of a lot of work in this marriage with little enjoyment, working, doing home chores and even expected to cook dinner and do the laundry, because your wife feels as though what she does is more important for whatever reason that is, sort of takes me back to when I was married, but no responsibility should be agreed upon and definitely shared.
Is your wife worried that you maybe doing something behind her back and that's why she keeps asking you questions, and why she is not prepared to answer any questions you ask her.
Your job and what you do is just as important as what she does, but is there a chance that she maybe doing something and covering herself by telling you what you have to do, that is controling you.
I'm sorry that maybe far fetched by saying that, however responsibilities need to be changed, and just because you are the father of these two children doesn't mean that she can have a free run, remember she married you where she had to accept the children, so it be should be a 50/50 agreement unless other agreements have been made.

If she won't open up then why should you, although this may cause trouble, but you can't help her if she doesn't say anything.
I could suggest couple counseling but I feel as though you might be dominanted, plus I don't think she would agree to it, however it seems to be making your life difficult. Geoff.