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Lost feelings and super confused

Community Member

I am struggling and don’t know who to ask for help! I’m engaged however my relationship hasn’t been one for a while, only when it really suits him

He can be very horrible in how he talks to me and controlling, I believe he suffers depression but won’t get any help. I have tired for almost 2 and a half year to bring us back together but now they he is trying, I just can’t I feel no connection anymore , we just moved into a new house and I thought he would relax a little but just turns to drinking to help the problem, in which I get put down and he will turn a situation into making me feel guilty.

One of my super close male friends has helped me through seeing that isn’t how it’s meant to be. He has also confessed feelings a few months ago in which I didn’t think I had for him . However as I pushed them to the side I have realised how much I do care about him and how it is meant to feel loved by someone. I have kissed my friend it just happened and no words will explain it.

However since then he said he cant talk to me as it hurts him to much hearing all the nasty comments my fiancé makes towards me and knowing I am still with my fiancé because he knows the truth.
I really do want to leave my relationship but I’m scared of hurting my fiancé.im scared of being left with nothing. Even though for the first time in my life I need to put myself first and follow my heart.

I just really don’t know what to do anymore

3 Replies 3

Community Member

You said you really DO want to leave this relationship but you are scared of hurting your fianc'e.... from what i have read so far, he doesn't seem to care that he is hurting you! Life is so very short and you should follow your heart, follow the happiness, good vibes and positive paths. Say goodbye to the unhappy, disrespected and negative paths. Just my opinion. Look after YOU. I wish you well X

Community Member
Aww thank you ❤️❤️❤️

Community Member

Hi Beach26.

Sometimes when we lose ourselves in our own battles, we forget what brought us together in the first place. I really feel sorry for your situation, however, looking for other people to resolve your current situation with your fiancé won't resolve your issues.

May be try working to help your fiancé better his mental health and wellness. If you feel he is not addressing your needs, you partner needs to have a clear understanding of this. When you are truly in love with yourself, you will be able to love someone else which means helping your fiancé when he is sick or unwell. Running away with another person or looking for someone to love you is not a solution to your issues.

I wish you the best.