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lonely and depressed after breakup.

Community Member
I have suffered anxiety and depression for many years and recently broke up with my partner after a 20 year relationship, in all the time he never understood my depression and now that I feel that I am free off his judgment and expectations I am struggling at the moment, feeling lonely needing someone to hold me (not that we did that for the last two years of our relationship) just feeling a bit stuck.
6 Replies 6

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

After 4 long term relationships I know the feeling.

I found its better to not stand around feeling the grief. Go out on dates, have fun, enjoy yourself, takes interest in others.

add to that

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Pressed the wring button sorry

Be really busy. Get a project or a passion.

My first marriage involved young children. Grieving for the loss of my full time fatherhood and watching my kids sad was tough. But u got a second job and built a house.

It helped. It does get easier.

Tony WK

Community Member
I'm really sorry to hear that Govecomm. It can really suck but I agree getting out there can really help even if it may seem counter- intuitive at the moment. Even if you're by yourself, you can visit a cafe (bring a book or something maybe) or visit a museum, do some volunteer work. All these help to distract you. Hope you start to feel better soon 🙂

Community Member

Hi Govecomm,

Firstly, welcome to the forums, sorry to hear about your break up, that is a long term one but it seems like it may have been for the best going off your brief post.

Is there any activites or hobbies or friends you can see to take your mind off the break up and the loneliness? I have a friend who is dealing with something similar and I am trying my hardest to help them and I see the pain it is causing them so I can understand the pain you are in.

My best for you,


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Govecomm, I'm very sorry that you're suffered from anxiety and depression for such a long time, but in a way it's good that now you are free from a partner who never appreciated your condition, I know that after all of this time being with him it must feel lonely, however you don't have someone who would deny you any credit, or not believe in what you were saying or how you were behaving and worst of all not helping you.
You will feel lonely until you are able to start meeting other people, but can I say within a short time all this pressure will slowly disappear, and remember that your anxiety and depression could well have been caused by him. Geoff. x

Thanks for your message: )