Loneliness

[kaylaG]

Hi..

I'm 24 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He is my main and probably my only source of support when it comes to my anxiety and depression. I turn to him whenever I'm feeling anxious, upset or need to talk about my feelings. Lately, he has been making me feel very lonely and rejected as he doesn't like listening to my problems anymore. It comes off as annoying or seeking attention.. and it is really difficult for me as I'm just trying to get it off my chest. He doesn't understand that just because my problems seem small to him they feel really big for me and affect how I go about my day. He makes me feel as though my feelings are invalid.. making me feel rejected and isolated. 😞 I don't know what to do and when I tell him I'm just communicating how I feel he just makes me feel stupid for even having these emotions that I can't help..

[geoff]

Hello KaylaG, and a warm welcome to the forum.

Unfortunately what can happen when you are trying to reach out to your boyfriend hoping he will accept what you are saying and understand how you are feeling is that after a while your emotions will be pushed aside and ignored.

When this happens then your depression and anxiety is only going to increase which will stop you from trying to get any help from him so the relationship becomes awkward.

No one should ever be made to feel stupid simply because when we feel like this there is always a reason why, that's we do get hurt, upset and disconnected.

There are a couple of issues that I do suggest, the first is for you to see your GP, then they can get the ball rolling, and the second is that your boyfriend needs to learn what depression means.

You could also contact Reachout, these people dress in casual clothes but are trained, as you just come into the age group they can talk to, as the cut out age is 25 years old.

Please let us know how you get on.

Geoff.

Can I suggest you click on 'Get Support' and scroll down until you see 'download the booklet on depression' or you could ring BB and then it will be sent out to you.

It would be good for the two of you to read it, together or separately

[kaylaG]

Thank you so much.. I was diagnosed with at the age of 13 and have suffered with anxiety/depression for the last 10 years. It can be frustrating going around and around in circles thinking you've finally learned how to deal with it and then one day feeling completely defeated. I am prescribed anti depressants but have been off it for the last six months as I don't want to rely on them anymore. I've been doing what I can to feel better naturally through exercise and meditation... but it's not enough. I find it really difficult to reach out to anyone and embarassed in letting them know whats going on.. and because of the situation with my boyfriend I find it extremely hard to communicate with him because I feel rejected and misunderstood. Its really difficult because he met me at a good time and he hadn't seen how bad my anxiety and depression is. I feel as though he doesn't take me seriously and its really taking a toll on me emotionally. the past two days I've stayed in bed taking 2-3 naps a day because I just cant physically and emotionally take on the day. Yesterday I went to a party and tried to get out of my comfort zone, which just made my social anxiety worse.. I had never felt so alone and terrified to be around people. I ended up leaving less than an hour in. When I tried to express to my boyfriend how I felt lonely he just responded saying that no one forced me to go and that I was making things up / purposely trying to get into an argument so that he could pay attention to me, which is not true. I have been feeling down about my self image and my weight and he just gets angry at me and to shut up about it.. I just feel like I cant do or say anything that is wrong and my feelings are rejected and invalid. Am I being too sensitive? I find myself crying over not having anyone to listen to me.

[Alexlisa]

Hello Kayla,

That sound really tough and I'm so glad that you reached out here. I was wondering if you see a psychologist? I think it could help your situation in a few different ways. Firstly, it would give you that emotional support that you need and the ability to be able to talk as openly as you want about your feelings, without being judged or fearful of a bad response. It's not ok at all how your boyfriend is treating you, but having the psychologist to confide in may take a bit of the pressure off the relationship. It will help you feel heard and hopefully more confident in that you do have the right to feel understood and respected in a relationship.

Secondly, it's great that you've decided to trial if you can manage your mental health through exercise and meditation, but perhaps you need to learn some more skills to help you. There are a lot of really specific and researched skills that can help manage anxiety and depression, and a psychologist is the best person to teach you them. Deciding to not take medication is a big decision and I hope that you don't be too hard on yourself if you need to go back on medication. It took me a long time to accept that I needed medication and I know it sounds like a cliche, but I had to think of my mental illnesses as though they were physical illnesses. If I had diabetes I would accept that I needed medication, so why would I be so hesitant to take medication for mental illness? I get it though, it's tough and it sounds like you're really doing your best.

Take care,

Alexlisa x