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Loneliness... What choices are there?

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Loneliness is one of the cruelest underestimated places to be in life. Most of us need people.

This is all too common & wayyyy too many suffer this.

What's out there to help people?

Forums is a good place for many that are shy or depressed and not comfortable face on.

Excercising outside, amongst people, eye contact often connects a smile with people. Lifting

Here & assuming other places in Oz there's through community centres volunteers that visit, take shopping, talk, listen etc or phone calls weekly. (GP would know more)

Public transporting, around people, even if not engaged in convo, still amongst it

Interested hearing suggests

This shouldn't be
140 Replies 140

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi DB, great needy topic

With many of us not able to socialise due to mental/behaviour restrictions b it t then find lonliness a bigger issue, finding balance isnt easy.

My wife used to say "you only need one good friend" yet mid 2016 we toured around part if Oz with that friend and her husband only to be abandoned in the outback. So without a depth of friends your heart is vulnerable.

Personally I believe a common interest between friends is essential. If you have a friend that is just friendly, or just kind, or just makes you feel relaxed it isnt enough for a solid happy time.

I had a friend that was compassionate, understood my mental issues but every time we conneccted our conversation was about that and that alone. Nice but draining. Since then Ive found another friend into vintage cars like me. That's where our main connection is. And he's kind also.

Oddly enough he is in the UK and we have never met!

Tony WK

Community Member
Yep agree with white night, mental health problems are a black hole for relationships (sometimes). Not everyone struggles I suppose, but I know i do. I have about three friends, but we only ever talk on the phone for the last year because they were all smart enough to move away from one of the loneliest cities I've ever lived in. So I'm going to a city about an hour's drive away to a group to meet new people. I think though the easiest way to make friends is to practically live together ie workplace friends. I've found now that I'm not working that I've cut ties a lot with my old workmates. But I've always struggles with friends. And the ones i talk to on the phone, well it all revolves around our mental health issues. Yes, we all have depression, anxiety etc. If I knew the answer to this one I'd give it to you with bells attached. But for now all i can offer is this "you're not alone in this". I know I can be funny, engaging, loyal, caring, helpful etc but when my mental health starts to slide, so do my friendships. Ugh

Community Member

Hi demonblaster,

loneliness is something I struggle with constantly due to anxiety/depression.

I moved interstate nearly 4 years ago and since than I have struggled to find close friends. People I can relate tp, trust and just generally hang out when I'm having a rough time.

My current medical support network have suggested me to do some group activities and or volunteering.

I keep backing out, as my anxiety begins negative talk. I want to make friends and be more social like I used to be back home. I am just really struggling at the moment to do these things, get out of the house.

But remember you're not alone as Ulysses said. I only recently joined the BB forums, but I have found them useful for connecting to others on a rough day.

Much love to you,


Hi All 🙂 thanks for input

Yeah I'm not lonely as in day to day, luckily I have a lot of love/like & know a lot of people for a natter if walking or activities. I organise tt (T.tennis) so also have more people contact there too, it's going from someone loving you & ditto unconditionally for 28yrs happy (late partner '15) thought we were gunna grow old together, to blank. We all need love

Many thanks for your lovely care & support, this is moreso for sooo many I've read here it's too common & terribly sad, hollow existance. Also saw it untold doing door to door over the yrs. A chat made a difference in their lives temporarily. Heartbreaking esp the elderly.

I think for me it's a lot easier as I'm an extrovert so strike up convo happily with strangers and get my energy & happies being around people, think it's big contributor to keeping BP (Bipolar) demons at bay with effort this time around.
Very difficult for shy & Yes depression being the base to at least most MH problems I think, it does coccoon us.
I've pushed through some incredibly Black times going out when I really didn't want to but came home perked up at least for few hrs.

Thankyou for valuable input

Knight Hey & all

Yeah I think more friends than ones a good idea, if they move or have fallout can be lonely, yeah common interests help imo but not necessary I think it depends on the people how good conversation flows & interest in the others interests. But sure is a good base

Good point some MH making hard for company


Heard here bb there's few places online that people chat to eachother, cant remember names but could google & assuming its on my threads hope to stumble on & will post.

Some of those places have get togethers

For seniors just heard today if anyone interested in learning computers there's free training (dont know if free everywhere).

Around people

Learning something new


Waiting for bus today thinking about shyness being a problem for many to venture out, causing loneliness which is awful. Have been couple of times, you feel unloved unworthy, hollow & deeply SAD. Saw way too much doing door to door.

ANOTHER of the beasts (depression) tendrils I wonder

Being an extrovert though been in couple of situations feeling uncomfortable have a bit of an idea,if anyone wants to talk about it.

As kids I think safe to say most at least start off shy, I think there's a lot more than we know that stay shy, low self esteem. Depression & people are good at knocking & keeping us down. Gaining confidence helps.

Is it feeling self conscious? Fear of being judged? Nervous? Not feeling secure? Out of comfort zone? All of above I imagine.

If we know what causes our issues, easier to work on.

The beast doesn't want us too but by liking ourselves we get a shield for confidence

How. Thinking about our good points, pretty much nearly all of us have them, believing in ourselves. We are worthy aren't we? Changing what we dont like about ourselves.

Shy people have the goods too, damaged though as with MI but a lot can be changed for the better with internal effort & professional help.

Just a thought

For those that are comfortable in others company could maybe approach a community centre or advertise in paper to start a social group in your area

Soz if repeating, Community centres have a lot of different activities catering for young/elderly/all abilities.

Just takes one person to initiate it 🙂

Great thread idea db,

l wanna come back and read later but l just wanted to sshow some support for this puppy first up but right now l gotta make some tea .

Yaknow, it's a good sign we still get hungry right lol..