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living alone

randomx
Community Member

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

 

740 Replies 740

randomx
Community Member

Haaa thks my friend.

Funny though yep sis and your sitch came to mind.

But yeah it should l think make a huge difference and she doesn't wanna even be around the particular family that's probably also coming to anyway, so another state could solve a few things.

Great piece of advice to and thanks for that too and nah l'm not pushing bc you are right and now she's dumped into this new stuff on top of it.Funnily enough though most of the area things been coming from her. l am feeling very time conscious though just keeping it to myself atm and mulling it all over very seriously myself.

Tbh , l don't even know if we're still suited shame but last trip was so short and tired but l still noticed a lot of changes and this one would only be short to damn it we need a few wks.

rx

randomx
Community Member

Unfortunately my next trip back up to hers is off it's just a bad time right now for us both really, l bloody knew it. lt felt weird as l was saying right here earlier and there ya go.

Sadly though, that's not all and there's more to those feelings of weirdness that go right back with our situation and so here l go again. l always knew but the trouble is with these feelings l get l sometimes just don't know if they're right until after the fact, especially with something so big. l should've excepted a long time ago in my life though that they are usually 99 times out of 100 spot on and sadly, l just don't think there's anything we can do, with US !

She's not only still just all over the shop, not about us as such or me, on that she's solid but just her end and her family and being up there. She' just says well we'll just wait, we can wait. Trouble is, nearly 3yrs now since her court stuff came up and 13mths completely long distance. But now after all that really she could do more about us now but that'd mean moving down to mine again well. Those relatives are only very young and straight of the plane from a war torn country, with nothing, not even English. She can't just turn her back on them or her son and with helping getting them get restarted here but that'll take a yr at least maybe more yet. l mean it's understandable but again, where's that leave us? l can't see any way and she's so unreliable with her ideas and any plans that l can't just leave my life on the line forever.

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I hear you. I feel your pain. I don't think I could do it. You've put your life, your happiness on hold for so long.

When does it end?

randomx
Community Member

l know, your spot on.

But you know what, l wonder lately if it ever ends for her. A lot of her life's been just as chaotic bc she moved countries a few times on the way to here and the poor thing she even admits, just never seems to get any stroke of luck.

ln a lot of it through no fault of her own though apart from having a huge heart, she just seems to attract drama and bad luck. Some people are just like that , she admits she doesn't think she'll ever have peace.

rx

randomx
Community Member

So yeah , unfortunately l'd probably end up going through just more of the same and waiting forever. lt just comes out of the woodwork and just keeps coming. Maybe l should've let her move in 2yrs ago the way she wanted. Going back to Sydney for her courts which she could've transferred down to here if l'd had let her, changed everything.

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

You're so right. Some people just attract drama. I have afriend, married with 3 kids. There is ALWAYS something happening. Someone sick, someone injured, something going on with kids, something with relatives. It does my head in. Everytime we speak there is so.ething happening.

It's not their fault,but it just never ends.

randomx
Community Member

Yep , known people like that to.

l must admit l noticed it with her day one poor thing. She'd always try so hard but not even the tiniest thing would ever go her way and the craziest things would just turn to complete crap.

l actually use to worry about it quite a bit tbh.

rx

randomx
Community Member

We hardly got any time to talk when l was there last but she's talking about all this sydney stuff and the rallies and l said but baby where does that leave us that's the problem , after all this time.

She said we could do long distance for another yr, at least we still have ea other, we're all life, what's another yr. l mean l love the spirit and sacrifice not many would be willing to wait even longer these days or even talk like that. lt's all me me these days.

But the problem is, ok , another yr , l could go up and back for another yr, but l don't trust it. Next there'll be another and something else , just like this time. That's the problem , and it'll be years , not 1.

randomx
Community Member

Well , they say a yr is a long time in politics right , well they ain't seen nothin, they should try just 24 hrs in gf time, speaking of doing your head in. Actually l think negative talk here helps bc every time l do a rant things flip again.

Anyway we've had the most classic day of convo. lt surely must be some sort of sign the fact that we just never quite get over the line with calling this a day once and for all. Butttt, maybe these lyrics aren't finished yet.

Yesterday, something else happened and she probably won't even need to help the relatives after all now. She attracts complete flips just as much as dramas haha. One thing lead to another next minute we're talking all kinds of her moving back here or selling the house going somewhere else and this that and the other.

You see, this is where l go wrong. How many times have things just turned on a penny and l allow myself to get sucked back in. But then there's another flip or drama or something.

randomx
Community Member

Actually or is that a day is a long time in politics ? She could be a great pollie actually she'd stand there all day long talking to reporters and still not tell them one damn thing.