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living alone

randomx
Community Member

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

 

740 Replies 740

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I hear you, loud & clear. Sis was meant to move in temporarily. 3 & 1/2 years & 3 boyfriends later she's still there with no end in sight😒

randomx
Community Member

Yeahhhh, and m being so m that's pretty well the equivalent of our English and Cultural being a different language at times. Bloody frustrating hey. When l say lines here she's said , sometimes they are as l've said but usually that's more like just the oz translation haha.

We must've met about the same time as you two actually but l dunno. l know l've been saying it12mths here but times bloody rolling on and now this Sydney thing, l just need to know where l'm at once and for all.

rx

randomx
Community Member

Not feeling too positive about things atm.

Can't really go into things here but not only stuff over the wkend and also some things resurfacing with stuff said coming out.

On the stuff though , it's big shyt , very big , yet more of it after yrs of the damn visa and court stuff. lt's not her fault or her sons , they're actually trying to help family from a terrible situation os. But l just don't have much left after everything else l've tried to do and be there and l've had my own big stuff too.

Don't get me wrong , she's one of the most giving and kindest people you'd ever meet , even at her lowest point this last few yrs . lt's just that my giving needed is only really a fraction of what she's needed and now still needing.

ldk if it's right or wrong but l've been holding back a bit lately on too much forthcoming support bc it can't just all be about me being a sponge for her problems. She's gotta start handling whatever she gets herself into herself , surely.

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

There's a saying...you can't pour from an empty cup.

It's all good, & we'll to support someone but it can't be all one way. OT will drain you & yes, there needs to be a point where she needs to deal with things herself.

Gees, it just never ends for you 😔

randomx
Community Member

Oh crikeyyyyy.

That's what l've been feeling to and your not the only friend to be pointing that out atm either. And this is what l'm getting at, l'm worried it will never end. Even this new relative situation, it could go on another yr or two yet now it's only the very very beginning of their dramas, and there might be more relatives coming.

l'm actually having second thoughts about going back up atm , bc none of this stuff will be going anywhere now it's a whole nother thing all over again. lt's not her thing , it was her son that brought them over, but she says she must help , she can't not , and of course l get that but man.

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

There is just no peace for you guys. When do you get to be just you. It's the same with me but in a different way.

If these relatives come over is she going to be busy with them all the time. Translating, looking for a home, looking after them?

I'm sorry but sounds like her dramas never end you're just expected to go with it.

I know the feeling 😕

randomx
Community Member

Yep , l'm afraid so . The 2 already here she'll have to help with and it won't be any quick fix either. lt's a bit embarrassing l know but half the threads been all about her stuff but what can l say, l'm really starting to question thing's though.

And l know , reading yours last night , all the stuff you's did over the wkend , living basically up the road from ea other , l mean l know you have your own battles with stuff happening. But the rest of it is basically how it would typically be if l look at all my crazy though , man. l thought we were there finally. She's even realizing it's just not practical staying there or me moving up and we've been talking about other areas down this way again.

But now all this !

l mean every couple is going to go through some yrs of supporting thing at some point and if it hasn't happened yet it will , that's life. But surely considering this last 2yrs for us , me , enough is enough for at least now.

randomx
Community Member

Not feeling too positive unfortunately , l don't even know whether to still go up again right now after the wkends stuff and this new outlook . And if the other relatives come too none of this will be going anywhere for yrs.

That cups empty , it's time for some us , and life.

randomx
Community Member

Well , decided l will still go and we can talk and think after that. Thing is , there has been one positive this last wk or so she's realizing it's just too hard up there and how it'd be ridiculous for me to giving up my setup here for that. We've even been talking areas down this way if l sold this place which was the original plan.

Just thinking out loud atm but if we aren't living up there maybe all this stuff will blow over before long for us anyway bc she'd be in another state.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

That's a good point rx. When she's removed from the situation it may be different. Bit like when sis isn't around M & I can be us.

It's good that she's realising Sydney is not a good option. Hopefully the trip will give you some clarity.