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living alone

randomx
Community Member

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

 

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randomx
Community Member

Wellll , at least some nice today.

lt turns out stuff she'd said the other day and it's happened others too , was just put wrong in English.

Her English is pretty good these days but she does still put/express some things with the wrong words or in the wrong way. Reminds me of trying to do a reply here and getting that one word at that one time wrong and changing the whole post.

lt's not gonna solve much but whatever we do l'm really bloody pleased that she didn't mean what she'd said in that way,nonetheless.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Oh lol.

Yeah, we know how one wrong word can change the whole context. Glad you sorted that out.

You could just take things slow. Her stuff just finished. Maybe let her settle before any big decisions.

randomx
Community Member

Yeah it's been a weird thing right through. l use to think she'd had this really below the belt passive aggression type streak. lt's strange though and tbh lm still not sure bc l've only discovered some of this wrongly put stuff sometimes12mths later and often just accidentally. Bc as her English gets better she'll say something opposite and l'll say but you said this or that last time now your saying this , and we'll figure it out,

So yeah , your spot on cm and a big hug for that too. She's still pretty pressured and with a lot of other worries now. Even today she has 4appointments all over Sydney, enough to send anyone off.

Came out with something else last night to btw. Said baby this Sydney stuff is crazy no way l can afford any of this l won't even be able to eat well, l bloody agree. Especially considering we can live at mine for pretty well nothing and do whatever we want, forget that.

So yeah , l might just take your advice for awhile first of all, bit more time.

rx

 

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Sounds like she may come to realise the Sydney option is not ideal.

Give it time. Let the dust settle. You may get a nice surprise.

randomx
Community Member

Yeah , bit of a reality check tonight though unfortunately .

Her tafe course doesn't finish until dec even though if she wanted to she could transfer that to Vic anyway. But although she complains and says things, at the end of the day it still doesn't really seem to be fazing her intentions of staying up there though nonetheless sooooo, not feeling too confident tbh.

And l'm not waiting till dec' for her bloody tafe course up there either. Just tonight she said , after all that , we'll see what happens after l've finished tafe, in bloody Dec. Oh, sure why not l'll just sit around for another 12mths.

Not only but despite prices and complaining she's still full steam ahead on looking for a place and all these other plans she's been talking about soooo, hmmmm.This was all just coming out in our call tonight you see.She's still hoping l'll sway in the end and move up there.

rx

randomx
Community Member

Very weird feelings , not sure what's going on.

A few days ago a new job has come up over the border that l may be going to pick up and it's only about 400k from Sydney. There's very good money in this one so it's well worth the trip and where l'd pick the job up from is also a very easy run and there'd be no hurry or pressure. Sooooo, we're thinking l could go up to Sydney again from there first , stay a bit and then pick it up on the way through coming home later. And as we eventuality ended up finding a really easy to get to and nice place to stay last time in the end, l could just go straight back to that one this time so there'd be no hassles of driving all over the damn place l had last time. And it's pretty well be a free trip and stay bc of the job l'll be picking up way back.

So why does it all feel weird.? Tbh , things didn't go too well last time and we had that fight. That was sort of over nothing much really but with all the hassles and stress l wound up having up there that trip , l dunno , things just didn't go well. Add in all her Sydney stuff, things have kinda been a little weird since and l've been wondering if there's any future in it, she has to l think although we haven't really said much about it. It's all just in the too hard basket atm for us both , l know.

l'll add more later , don't really know how to describe it right now but the idea's feeling weird , why ?

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hmm...maybe cos it's not right?

randomx
Community Member

Yeah,,,,usually the obvious isn't it. l mean we were just back to us it was like we'd never been apart but there was stuff none the less, and she and her son are in a terrible place atm with Ukraine too. l'd feel guilty rocking up at a time like this tbh but she wants to get on with things, it was in the background last trip though she wasn't herself at all. lt wasn't really us as such though.

So that's huge but her Sydney thing too l mean, where can it go anyway you know. That might budge yet but it's not sounding like it, l dunno.We've just been so sad to though bc the last one was over so fast.

She freaks me out the way her tuning with me is even stronger than ever though yet we've been apart so long. There's lots of things but last night for example she says baby,,,something you wanna tell me? Well l didn't mention the new job or maybe another trip yet and then she just says , tell me l wanna know. l said it might be a bad time she says no it might even help. Soooo, told her about it but not really about the job itself. Next minute she says it's a very good deal baby, you know, you should grab it, and you get a free trip up to me too. Well l didn't mention the deal yet either but yeah it is it's a really good deal well worth it. Then she says you can check it on the way through sign the stuff pick it up going back. Ummm, fun police, l was just about to tell ya all that. Then she says oh, l'm really sorry about such and such to baby, - something that happened a few days ago only thing is bc of her worries atm, l didn't even tell her about that either. Had a funny one a few wks back, l got a new mattress, hadn't told her about that either at the time it was gonna be a surprise suddenly that night she starts telling me how she feels l'll really sleep well tonight at last , [ hadn't been sleeping the few wks before you see}- but wth, you got a camera in my head or something girl. So l tell her about the mattress, she says ahhhh, that's what it was. She means her feeling.

Funny really. My daughters got a bad habit of finishing my sentence even if it's something completely out of nowhere she knew nothing about. But my gf tells me what's going on before l even get to tell her myself , l dunno which one is more fun police haha.

rx

randomx
Community Member

Whether the next trip back up or not happens as yet , still not sure. lt's just been an idea atm bc of that job l could also grab.

l've been sampling not working this yr so far, bc l've been wanting to stop. l always wanted to retire early but with MH last few yrs it's sort of been looking like it's just best l do if l could. But funny, l reckon it's like people were saying in my other thread about all that , l've actually felt worse not working, most people in that thread said the same. Anyway, l still had one job in the yard from later last yr that still hadn't been picked up yet mainly because l just couldn't be bothered dealing with the customers but anyway it left today and so l'm free to go grab that other one now and drop up to sydney again to if we decide. Haven't done any business for 6mths, really weird day but it's done.

lt didn't go well last trip up there, lt was my fault. l'm not good when l;m tired so if l do go l'll have to make damn sure l organize and don't get in the shyt like l did last trip and end up like that again.

Anyway , underneath it's for us both a one more try thing tbh. Bc she still has her Sydney thing and all new stuff going on now that her cases are done and she's free to restart rebuild life here, you could imagine.And we're a part of it too of course if we're actually gonna be.lt's a little confusing though bc on the other hand there is the Sydney thing which l know l don't want so where would it leave us anyway,l dunno , l just wanna see her again though none the less right now.

We've been talking all night though and actually some of that kept floating in and out too and she's realizing just how damn expensive it'll be and how could she even manage and sorta flowing in and out of maybe even coming back down to mine instead. But l didn't push any of that she's got enough going own l don't wanna push it and besides , if she was considering it l want it to come from her not my pushing or maybe she resents it later. But among it was depending and for me too , how things went if l do go back up this time.

Hard to even think about such huge things when you haven't even been together 13mths first of all. So anyway atm ,we're thinking l probably will go back up and maybe we just see from there first of all. l feel like we just need to make a damn decision about us , allt his time l mean we need to know what we're doing, us. Or not .

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Do you think you could tell her this? Tell her that it can't keep dragging on like this? Tell her you can't live in Sydney?

I understand she still has things to sort out but how much longer can you wait?

Maybe a good face to face chat is needed, lay it all out, weigh it all up.