FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

living alone

randomx
Community Member

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

 

740 Replies 740

jtjt_4862
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Heya RX,

I'm really glad to hear your gf's case was a big win. Congratulations to the both of you :). This is going to give you two more space to be with each other and work on the relationship again. Hope all goes well for the both of you! Whether she feels it's her mental health, or something else that's holding her back from being in the relationship, time will tell and it'll only get better from here on now that her case is shining very bright with victory.

Jt

randomx
Community Member

l had to talk things over with my d bc l want her to have time to think about everything concerned and run any Sydney ideas past her as she'd probably come to just supposing. Not that l'm saying l would but first step is cards on the table. Gf's been so exited about me coming and she's amazingly on one hand but not on the other, come along in leaps and bounds with the stress detox already. You could imagine the release and she's already full steam ahead with ideas.

Trouble is , things keep coming back to Sydney. No way l could expect her to travel up 4 or 5 times a yr from here seeing her kids or to cut back seeing them to only once or twice a yr again now. lt just wouldn't be fair on her or them as they've re'found their relationship now with her being up there and so close this 13mths and of course that means the world to her. Especially with the new baby now and her residency fixed, you could just imagine.

She's come up with a plan/idea that if l sold here we could actually live there without spending anymore- can't talk about it here but it's brilliant and we'd come out of it with heaps in the bank and still be pretty well sitting pretty.

But would l want the lifestyle and Sydney, well , not really. My d agrees and although she'd actually like the change says she just couldn't see me being happy. l'm fairly adaptable l've lived many ways and l've lived that way for 30yrs too here in Vic but Sydney, couldn't get more apposing to what l had planned if l do sell this place.

Anywayyyy , we can't wait butttttt, unfortunately there'll be some very big decisions to be made later though whichever way l cut it.

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Yeah,

It's a big move/decision. Is there anywhere in between where you'd both be happy & closer to both families?

Cmf

randomx
Community Member

Yeah true , probably all just crazy bc at the end of the day l'd really just rather stay out of NSW tbh, l like Vic and it's much easier too. Butttt, we'll see ea other again at least for now first , and l'll come home later and we see l suppose. Still can't feel anyone else in my life as in the future and that probably means we'll figure something out butttt, who knows.l could be wrong.

We've just talked a few hrs on the ph , soooo nice. She's already more and more just coming back to her old self , so proud of her. lt's hard to believe to where she was only 2wks ago mentally, stress and life at the time. l knew she'd bounce back like this that's how she works, even though she doesn't realize it herself haha.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I'm so happy for you 🙂

randomx
Community Member

Ah thanks cm , much appreciated.

Tbh though l don't know if l'm just being silly here or what, l do know we just need to see ea other again though and take it from there first There's probably a happy compromise somewhere in between as you say and if we're going any further from there we'll find that later.

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey rx,

How's things? When is your trip?

randomx
Community Member

Hmmmm, sadly it's become complicated. There's two things. And l feel sick to the stomach and selfish to the core even thinking about it right now. You see, she's part Russian/Ukrainian , she has some family in Ukraine and her sons dad moved to Ukraine , so you could just imagine what they're going through right now. Man, what a wk for that poor country and people , and gf and her son. l dunno how much more she's suppose to take. So it was suppose to be this wk , butttttt.

rx

randomx
Community Member

Trouble is, being there might help but she has a bit to organize first if l'm coming sooooo, we'll just see for now.

randomx
Community Member

We've both done a lot better today, staying away from news completely. Says she's hardly thought about back there in 20yrs but it's not easy nonetheless though, she wants to get on with things.

Anyway we talked a lot today still wants me to come and she's so exited, me to, so maybe it's helping.She's coming up with her usual 50 ideas for everything, l think it's good right now actually and as usual we've just echoed ea others thought on everything to the exact. So, atm still going and we'll see after that, Praying there's no calls from Europe meantime but this excitement might actually help carry her through l'm hoping if there is so, we see.

rx