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living alone

randomx
Community Member

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

 

740 Replies 740

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Maybe you should go visit her rx. Remember what it was like. It may change how she's reacting , make her feel positive & remind her what she's fighting for.

If you go you're telling The Universe what you want. You're showing The Universe how it should be.

Sometimes we just gotta let go & do it.

Cmf x

randomx
Community Member

Yeah for sure , we've planned it 3 or 4 times but with her situation or covid, been one or the other or something else or all of, every time. .

But hell yeah we've needed it badly a long time now. Anyway , just today actually we've been planning yet another trip in a few wks. We can't do right this minute but hopefully. Sooooo, we'll see how we go this time eh.

big hugs

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I hope you get to make the trio. Reconnect, sort out feelings. I was thinking, if I were in her shoes I'd probably be reacting same as her with all the stress.

If you go see her, you tell/show The Universe what you want.

If you see each other & things work out in her favour, you started the rekindling.

If you see each other & things don't work out in her favour, you have beautiful memories , didn't finish with negative stuff.

I think you're pretty open minded rx. You're not ready to give up. Make the trip, make it happen, make you guys happen.

Cmf x

randomx
Community Member

Yeah exactly cm , even my daughter said that and em went through exactly the same back through her drama.

Thing is , there's also a lot of things coming out l don't even bother with here and gf just isn't up to figuring it all out together , so knowing how she gets l just let them roll off. Which is probably a really stupid thing to do.

But one for example is she often flusters on about us living in Sydney after her stuffs all done. But l wouldn't live in Sydney and couldn't even afford their prices anyway, nor would l even pay them if l could anyway. And also that my daughter will probably stay in Vic.

So that one's huge alone but a couple talk about that stuff before going further, she's just not up to anything that serious this last 6mths though. There's other things to but this mth of all mths no way l could expect us to start working all that out. l wish we bloody could though bc l really just wouldn't wanna bother or even go any further on that one thing alone if it meant living in Sydney.

rx

randomx
Community Member

Well , once again things aren't looking good. l don't believe it but l do, l've expected it.

l've decided l'm waiting for a good time and we have to tackle us, once and for all. We often get her at a calm time where she's just herself and feeling ok and l need to know once and for all when she is talking sense just exactly wth we are. Reason being she's been everywhere again over the wkend and coming out with more contradictions and just really silly things, l mean tbh l'm just scratching my head.

But l'm not going all the way to Sydney and spending however much until l have some answers bc things have just come out too often now. l brush them off just blaming her stress let them slide and remind myself of all the huge good things she also comes out with to but. There's been too many of them and just way too often now and l wanna know where we stand before l go any further.

l wanna try to talk to her this wk if we can.

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I hear you and agree. You can't just pick up & go live interstate.

Def need to work things out regardless of what the end result is for her.

The head vs the heart. I sort of feel you know what you need to do.

Cmf x

randomx
Community Member

Yeah , with things she's still coming out with, unfortunately realistically l know exactly how this is gonna go. l know l'll only be getting conformation really but sadly it's just time we had that and sorted it out.

rx

randomx
Community Member

l know the minute we were side by side again , in the flesh, real , she'd be telling me how much she loves me all over again and all this dribble she talks would be out the window , but only until the next time.

l just after 3yrs still just can't trust her character , staying power and l hate to say it , but her love either. lt just turns and chops and changes in minutes, just too much.

After 3yrs of this l should trust her, her love, her realness, her character, more than anyone else on this planet, but l still just don't and with very good reason. And l still just don't feel like l could commit to her because of what l've seen on those sides and still see all the time , even after 3yrs.

rx

jtjt_4862
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Heya Rx,

Popping by to let you know, my thoughts are with ya. Must be a very difficult decision, to stay or to leave... It reminds me of a quote I came across the internet "If both people are truly in love, they will never get tired of each other." I see that quote as a way of saying true love means both have accepted their strengths, flaws, uniqueness, and is willing to continue living and growing with each other. Anyways, here for u if you'd like to chat more.

Jt

randomx
Community Member

Yeah , that is how it works and it can be so gorgeous when you can just look at someone warts and all and just love them.and everything about them.

Unfortunately though, that part of things isn't the problem. She;s on of about us, happens every time she goes home. Although on one hand we've done incredible holding it together all this time but on the other she hasn't though herself and that;'s the problem and what l'm talking about.

Only this morning l get yet again , l'm too sick to have a relationship , l think l'll need to be on my own when this is all finished [her stuff}. l get things like this and much more 2 -3 times a wk sometimes.

rx