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living alone

randomx
Community Member

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

 

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ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
randomx said:

Tbh , that's what's wrong with this whole picture for me. We're going against what l'm truly feeling and l think her too. Practical sides are trying to protect ourselves and ea other in self preservation and to help her cope and get through. But truth is it feels forced and swimming against tides. Tough talks of moving on, cleaning the house , or someone else, just feels like bs.

rx

Gosh it's the day for quoting your posts lol!

I think you're SPOT ON there rx.

Self preservation for sure. And no one could blame either of you but it's still a dilemma.

Yep 5.
Same demon.
Demons love grandstanding.
God forsaken awful horrid and beyond disgusting.

BUT none of it worked! Aha! I'm still here and still VERY strong!

Got a letter addressed to it at MY HOUSE yesterday... it loves doing this too - total jerk.

I can say I was ONLY in 5 Courts with demon lol... it was in many many more!
Letters coming here, too easy to see through the envelopes.
Fines and Court results and weird crapola as you would say lol!!

So many fines 🙂

I thought of you & GF today as I was gardening. Burning off lots of stuff - YEAH.
I attended a few Courts as a support person for others, mainly to LEARN how they operate (VERY eye opening).

One Barrister saw the other party's affidavit and said "Oh Judges LOVE coloured graphs" - seriously I thought? What are they? Kindergarteners?

BUT I DID THAT.
It took BF and I 18 months to get ALL the data collected then graphed in different fancy ways on ALL aspects of Family Law.
Man they looked FAN FAIRY TASTIC hahaha.

It was THESE that blew demon out of the water in the end.

COLOURED GRAPHS is my message.

And a house across the road just sold for 2million. Ahh taking the HIGH road lol.

OKAY so daughter is home.
Yeah I get it. I used to say to my older children "You think you're immortal but you're not!"

Thank God my younger children are far more IDK "aware"?
NOT risk takers really.

"Stuff" still finds them but nothing like the stuff the older kids had going on.

Parenting hey?

The Chook Palace is UP & the Turkeys are crazy outside of it.
Papa BT No. 2 has kicked his stuff OVER my fence to the neighbours yard to build his mound there lol. If the new neighbours are from the City it'll be funny, they won't know what it is!

Now the OLD Chook Shed is Mama's Cubby. Cleaned it out today. Moving some camping equipment in soon.
I WILL Have fun even in lock down!

Love EMxxxx

randomx
Community Member

Haaaa. But yeppaaa. as it turns out l am too , l'll explain later, but no surprises just relief more so l suppose you could say.

Know what you mean about the paperwork and graphs . last time l was in court it lasted 6 bloody mths and every wk or two the solicitor , very cool old dude , would say give me another 10 pages , or 20 pages , or 3 pages , more pages more pages. My God l was just writing the same bs over and over , l mean the story was the damn story and that was that. l'm thinking this guys gonna get me locked up, butttttt, he got me off. Later l said to him what was with all these damn pages every 5mins , he reckons the judges love it , the more paperwork you givem the better. l'm thinking wth , silly buggers.

l paid him with a painting . He'd drop over to see me and loved one of my paintings , l was dreading the thought of how l'd pay when it was all over, had no money at the time. On his last visit he said ahhh , yeah , the bill, l;m about to curl over and he says l would except that painting [ it's name }, what would you say. Knew l was broke. We hugged with a laugh and l said it's yours my friend and we carried it out to his ute. Yep a lawyer with a ute that takes a painting as payment. My kinda lawyer haha.

Ex's, yep, it's just shear mind boggling isn't it. Why can't people just make peace.

So the ladies have their new palace , fantastic , and now mr turkey think the place needs some more organizing eh , bloody funny. The neighbours will be think wth's with all these sticks.

Anyway , l missed her and was worried so l messaged this morning to be sure she was traveling ok. And later she called me and we talked a few hrs, was soooo beautiful , God l just love talking with that women on the ph. And l rarely phone talk to anyone.

l really don't know how to put it bc l can't get too personal, it's ours and not for public consumption yaknow,sure anyone reading will understand but we could just say the post above was right , and so were you em. We still want our life back , no ifs or buts. It's just hard as we've been talking about in the thread here, especially for her.

l suppose we'll probably keep trying to keep things to a minimum though, or something, for now. lt just makes it a bit easier.

Some news , one of her people keep talking about Dec' though she hasn't found out why as yet but she thinks they've finally got some info and maybe a time. But she can't be sure they've been very vague , probably don't wanna get her hopes up.

We see

rx

randomx
Community Member

ps , 2 million , my God , Australian house prices , just insane.

But eh, l wish , l'm afraid mine won't bring quite that much haha.

rx

jtjt_4862
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Heya RX,

I cracked up reading about your experience with a lawyer in a ute who accepted paintings as payment. It's nice to hear that you're still in contact with your friend. Sounds right to keep in touch with her at a minimum, and see how things goes on her end.

Apologies for answering your question late, I just got my loan approved for my home, so it's an exciting step in life. Still taking care of myself here and there, also missing ex here and there too (as mentioned in another thread). Also, thank you for reminding me that it is hard to let go of someone who I was truly in love with, or that maybe I'll never be able to let go, and will just have to live with it forever. I'm sure new and better experiences, with more fond memories can be made with other people, so I'm looking forward to that too. 🙂

Jt

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey rx, that guy was your kinda lawyer lol! Awesome!

I want one too btw, ie one of your paintings lol!

I literally went through over 5 boxes of 5 reams of paper being 150 pages per ream, and other sheets friends copied when I ran out of INK! well over 4000 pages. That was for the biggest case only re: The children.

One copy for demon's lawyer (which I put in a PINK envelope hahaha - these little things gave me some comic relief to a horrid situation and I KNEW demon would hate that lol).
One copy for my Lawyers. Green.
One copy for the Courts. White.

AND I had to put all in Word Docs and email to my Lawyers. That was a major headache.

DECEMBER omg I'll Pray for a breakthrough there!

After X long in Family Law Court, esp if there are NO children involved in the case, the Judges only have limited patience for monetary resolution.
I went to the last day of Trial in a 9y Case... the Judge went off his NUT at them, like really ripped in to them. Put Good Behaviour Orders on them both etc etc. Man there was NO patience left in the Court system for shenanigans. My SILs mother went through longer, cost her brother over $400k for her to get $600k. Lucky she had a rich brother!

Hopefully THAT'S how the Judges will see GFs case... GET THEM OUT!

Then done.

So glad you had a beautiful call with GF. How lovely for you both. A very bonding experience.
It's a real test for the depth of your feelings for each other and those feelings are STILL there, no denying it.

We think our girls are scared in their new coop 😞
Those darned BTs are stalking them all day around the edges.
Trying to remedy this for them asap.

Today we had a magical big fat WHITE FLUFFY RABBIT in our back garden!
A neighbour came later and one son helped her catch him hahaha. How sweet!

Now the chickens are cooped up, all sorts of beautiful creatures are re-entering our garden. Blue Tongues, double headed Geckos (my name for them lol). As long as the snakes stay OUT, I'm okay with that lol.

We're under quarantine atm. The fun goes on!

Take lots of care
EMxxxx

randomx
Community Member

Hi jt , nothing to apologize for man no problemo.

Great news about your loan. And yeah nice way of looking at things with those feelings creeping in, great sign , the new and new horizons. One day man, time is your friend. And just who knows what it could hold huh.

Hiya em . l don't know how you got through all that l take my hat off let me tell you. Not a nice bill with your SIL either , Jezuz . But yeah l'd be hoping that too with gf's. lt's all just such total baloney from the ex as transparent as glass. l mean he wants to keep the money , even to them that would be so clearly obvious buttttt.

Gf's cases are probably a few 1000 pages at a guess, 90% of that useless and irrelevant. But the same she's been reliving it all 2yrs now, over and over , answering , writing, explaining over and over, you'd know all about it. There's also some she needs on the computer she has here which would be no drama l could send them through but guess what, she can't remember the PW to this one soooooo, and it's an expensive computer l can't hack in. l can get into cheaper stuff but not this puppy. But eh maybe she should jot out a few more 1000 though then hey. Anyway if she doesn't remember soon l'll have to send the whole pc up to her , she reckons if she was sitting at it the pw would come.

And thanks too yeah , it was an incredible day for us, beautiful. Yaknow , for just a little while, we let it be back in and to just us again, just let it be. The us of the last few yrs , before she went back last and became consumed in this mess on her hands poor thing. All still in there loved and wanted no doubt about it now.just pushed aside and away in preservation

Well , we'll have to go back to that now and all the unspoken of this last 6 mths for her own good and strengths, but that's ok . Anything that can help her through this.

And ahhh so the chickens are suspicious , pretty funny. l can see them walking about hmmm , so what's all this then. But eh the Turks make me laugh. We had a house rabbit for yrs and gees tell you , don't know if you've had one but they are absolute classic pets round the house.

Quarantine huh damn eh l think l read it somewhere, like you don't have enough goin on.

You too and thanks em.

rx

randomx
Community Member

Well as stressful as it's been having my daughter back again right now there are benefits.

Ex w her mum keeps dropping food over. Tonight she dropped of her famous lasagna. Haven't had that in yrs and bach'ing right now hmmmm, it's still as good as ever too.

On another note , gf is stuck in the middle of Sydney for God knows how long but won't get vaxed , she doesn't trust it. Damn she can be stubborn l wish she would especially with her MH and nervous system in the shape it's in atm. Not a thing l can do if she doesn't trust something nothing will change her mind.

rx

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi rx,

Getting vaxed is such a personal thing hey. I got mine, despite being so against it. My kids and small local business are suffering. I did it for them. I'm working from home,don't really enjoy it,but I have a job. I just hope when more people are vaxed we are given more freedoms for making that contribution.

Lasagne...lucky you lol.

Hugs

Cmf x

randomx
Community Member

Feeling pretty messed up about everything but especially gf things. Add in my d being back and her troubles , work , and all this crazy covid damn mess.

Done a few card reads hoping for something and also of curiosity in seeing if this thing l've been feeling is showing up anywhere. They've actually switched to money matters though atm , bc the last few wks are the first business end of work for this yr, as well as my inquiries about the house and some things about being able to stop work . So there's been a lot of money stuff going on and all coming through and dominating in the cards the last few wks. lf l persist they then secondly after money matters just go back to the same original love stuff l've been getting 4 yrs now but unfortunately it doesn;t help much and nothings changed in other words. Yet nothings happening either so l don't know why they're still talking this big love , when we're practically non existent.

So not much help there l'm afraid but at least the financial matters look good so that's better than a kick right.

GF and l watched bachelor last night and wed night together by phone , funny l know. But we have a real thing about that silly bloody show bc when we first met it was on and we watched the whole season. So it kinda became one of our sentimental little things haha.

Nothing else happening on the us front though. But she's convinced her cases are coming up in Dec , we see.

rx

randomx
Community Member

Hi cm and thanks for that.

Yep it's been a mad mad mad yr alright . People do seem to finally be rushing out to get vaxed though don't they so that's hopefully some light. Same reason the way the prems have been putting it, everyone just wants out of this crazy damn mess now l'd say hey.

Hang in there.

rx