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Lied to by a sociopath through online chat and now depressed

Community Member
I started chatting online as a way to overcome the loneliness in my life. I made what I thought was a close friend. Eventually over time it seemed we had a very close friendship. We spoke multiple times a day and we told each other a lot of personal stuff in our lives (well I did). He starting to become distant about two weeks ago and being naturally insecure I kept asking what was wrong and whether he still wanted to be friends. He kept reassuring me that he was ok and that our friendship meant the world to him. He then told me a week later his computer was hacked and he had to close all his social media accounts. As he had my email he said he would contact me in a couple of days. That never happened and now I feel like a fool. The stupid thing is I miss our conversations even though I know that they are based on lies. I don't believe I was catfished but I was definitely used and now I feel hurt.
4 Replies 4

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member


Welcome to BB. Sadly being catfished happens to nearly everyone at some point who gets involved in chat rooms. I know i fell for it at one point when going through a difficult time in my marriage. With the exception of the people who catfish for money i honestly dont think most set out to harm others, they do it out of their own feelings of being inadequate and when they are at the point of being to emotionally envolved actually end it rather than having the other person hurt by destroying everything they built up.

I spoke to one of the guys who catfished me after i pushed for the truth and he explained about wanting to be a white guy hero instead of a short fat black guy who was poor. It was kinda sad because I'm one of those people who accepts anyone.

If you want FB search him using his email that he used most. That might give you some sort of lead.

Thank you. I’m the same. I would have accepted him regardless of who he was. I know now he told me some half truths but I think the thing that hurts me the most is that I miss the friendship even though now I know it was false. I feel like I cannot trust people. I know I’ll get over it in time but it does hurt. I like to think it wasn’t malicious. He didn’t ask for money. Just a sad lost soul like myself.

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Your not lost anymore. Welcome to the BB family. We are all here for you

Thank you. I’m grateful for a resource like this. It was killing me inside. I guess though I’m a funny kind of way it helps to know I’m not the only one.