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Leaving My Wife who I love for a happy life

Community Member


Feeling lost confused and regretting bad choices is how I feel every day after ending my marriage to my best friend, I know I have left my life behind for a happy life, but can't help feeling I have broken my two kids world, but i could just not go on any more with the way I was feeling, every day I woke and felt the walls closing in on me, The constant arguing, silent treatment and just hating each other was instance I could no longer bare, I know this was no way for my kids to grow up but can’t help feeling that I have let my kids down by making the biggest choice of my life and changing everything I had planned out, Can I ask if there is life after such a big change do the kids ever forgive me does life get better any advice would help


6 Replies 6

Community Member

Hey Cam

Tough words to hear.. sounds like a decision made not lightly..

Without knowing everything that has gone on I can’t say exactly how your kids will react. It’s likely very circumstance related, their age and how you both now approach and deal with it as parents..

But in my situation yes 100% they can adjust, have a happy life and not hold resentment. And yes you can too.

I separated about 18 months ago. Incredibly tough. And I’d be lying if I said I’m exactly where I want to be. But I’m happy, my kids are settled and life is moving on.

It’s a tough road. But do everything as best u can for kids, be respectful to your ex and look after yourself and things will mend each day

Community Member

Hi Cam,

I went through a similar separation, 10 years ago now and felt terrible and heart broken for my kids not having their family together. It was very hard to do but I felt a sense of relief being out of that relationship. My two kids were young and have adjusted well. As long as they have the both of you in their lives and neither parent is negative about the other, I feel they will thrive and be ok. Life definitely gets better and your kids will benefit from a happy home. Fast forward and now i am in another relationship where is it hard to be happy when you are walking on egg shells everyday. I understand when you mention the constant arguing and silent treatment, that is happening in my current situation.

Community Member
I am currently facing this dilemma at the moment. Nearly the exact same circumstance. I want a happy life for everyone, and if one isn't happy how can all be happy. It may sound selfish, but i want to be happy, life is very short and I don't want to live in regret of staying somewhere just for the sake or ease of it. I am wanting to end it as I am no longer in love with my wife, I have had this feeling for at least 4 years now and finally came to a point where the truth came out.

Community Member


Why exactly have you left your Wife? Has she done something to betray you?

He explained why in detail.

Anyway l'm very sorry things have had to go this way but l can well see why you've made the decision that's no way for a married couple to live. lt's of course very hard on kids, breaks my heart seeing them having to go through this but l can say from experience the first most important things are that they know you love them very much , everyday, and that this isn't in anyway their fault. To go on being the best dad you can be, be there for them in every way and spend as much time with them as you can. l think it's crucial you explain to them in the simplest most gentle way you can too that you and mum just weren't getting along anymore and that sometimes that just happens. l mean in whatever way you would like to explain it but l do think it's just vital you do in some way and most importantly that you both still love them very much .


Community Member

So I am the other side of this story. My husband after an argument has told me that’s it he is leaving and hasn’t been in love with me for five years. We have two children and have had a lot of stress in the last five years, a lot of which was his making.

I have stood by and held his hand in his darkest moments. We def have issues in our marriage, I have asked for another chance, we have been together for 20 years, he won’t give me another chance. I am heartbroken but also extremely upset as I don’t understand why he would wait sooooo long and then pick a terrible time to do this. I am very isolated due to COVID.

He has always found the grind of bringing up kids challenging even though he was the one in the first place that wanted them. He now is constantly talking about getting every second weekend off which is a worry in itself. Every relationship has it’s challenges and when I am saying I want to work on it together and he refuses I am dumbfounded. Yes he might find someone new and exciting but the shine wears off.

The other hilarious factor is that he is clear he is leaving me because he needs to find happiness. I have told him over the years if anything happened and we were not together to find my happiness I would need to move from where we live. Now he is asking me to stick around separated from him for the next five years for the kids sake. So he wants his own happiness and the kids at the expense of my happiness. Surely you cannot have your cake and eat it?