just need someone to talk to

[Ems-j]

HI everyone

I don’t really know where to start so I’m just going to say whatever comes to mind here. Also a complete newbie here!

I am living away from home and family is pretty far away. There are a few people within the extended and and immediate family that has some form of mental illness and that sometimes weigh on my mind.

I’ve never really been in a serious relationship and that’s probably very unusual given I’m way above the legal age haha. I’ve been cautious and as a result, don’t usually get too hurt as I’ve assessed the situation before I act. there was a guy lately that I’ve been chatting to and I felt really comfortable talking to him. We got along really well and we were both interested but all of a sudden he just disappeared, like he’s ignoring me. I’m not sure why or what has happened and wish he would say something. A part of me is worried for him but a part of me wonders if I’ve done or said something wrong, or if I should have been a little more careful. I don’t want to flood him with anymore messages either. The insecurities are slowly overwhelming me and I hate it. I just want it to go away.

I know this is silly but I wonder if I’ve got some form of curse and this is just my life of being the most unlucky person when it comes to guys / relationships.

I’ve also somehow felt really lost because I’m alone here. I have great friends who are here to support me but nothing beats family.. but I don’t think I could live with them. Another silly reason for that is my age. I kinda feel unaccomplished even though deep down I know I’m in a good place now and am so much luckier than a lot of my mates. I just can’t help all these feelings of negativity sometimes even though I try my best to be positive and not dwell on things too much

thanks guys for reading my spiel 🙂

[Baker84]

I know how it feels sometimes to think your cursed but by the sounds off it you haven't found the wright person for you. It will happen and sometimes we have to be rejected a few times to get the person we deserve. I find its always good to talk too someone who you dont know well ie GP psychologist. Just remember your a good person and you will find the wright person.

[White_Rose]

Dear Ems-j

Hello and welcome to the Beyond Blue forum. No one who writes in here is silly or stupid. We are all unsure of ourselves in some way, hurting for various reasons and wanting to engage with someone who understands how this hurts you. You are safe here, no one will harm you.

I am a grandma and I still feel the universe has got something against me at times.

Sadly we do meet people who are attractive and who leave for an unknown reason. If you see him you can ask the reason but it sounds as though he is making sure he is not around you. I am a bit cynical about these sorts of people. I know you feel hurt and disappointed but please do not let this man back in your life. Anyone who treats you in this fashion with a complete lack of respect is not worth knowing.

I am sorry you have been hurt in this way but I think you will recover. It is not a sign of having a mental illness even if some of your family have poor mental health. It means you have a healthy need for other people. We all need to have others in our lives, hopefully people we can trust. I cannot imagine living on the top of a mountain and not seeing anyone. That would cause insanity to me I feel.

Family and friends are different groups of people and come with different ways of relating. So it's natural to want to be with your family. It's a pity you cannot live near them but not with them. I get that. My four children all left home once they started their working life. They come back to see me and also when they need some TLC and a chat.

Having a generally good life is really great. If you are basically happy where you are and with what you do it would be hard to move elsewhere and start again. Can you Skype your family. Not the same as being with them but at least you can see them while talking. Go home for a short visit.

Feeling lost is very uncomfortable and appears worse when you are on your own. Do you have any hobbies or activities you did before meeting this man? Do you think you can go back to some or all of them? I have returned to my embroidery just lately and I had forgotten how much joy I had creating lovely things. Now I'm back to it. Try some of your activities and smile a lot.

I think you will recover and you are most welcome to continue to write here.

Mary

[Matt1991]

Hey there I totally relate to your experiences! I am 27 and share same lifestyle. I live away from family, well two hours away to live in city where things are happening. I have very few but good friends. I have disabilities, and that is something find challenges and barriers to find a right girlfriend. I have same bad luck as well. Never been in relationships before.

Unfortunately it how the society goes, even if you are in your 20s this is coincidental. Lot of people in their 20s are still young and youthful minded. They are not consistent with their thoughts and behaviour towards others. There could be personality problem. I met people who disappeared quickly after a great time!

Personal passive is not a great thing. I learned to be confident of myself to understand who I am and what I do. Of course its stressing that not learning off other person's perspective because they are passive. Its their problem. Not yours.

Other thing is I learned from you. I never met a women who experiences same thing as a male like me! You're first for me!

[Ems-j]

Oh thank you so much everyone, I really appreciate your comments and support! Sending love to all of you out there.

[Ems-j]

Hey Matt

Thanks for taking the time out to reply. I think it’s great to be able to relate to someone. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement and I’ll be sure to work on that.

[Ems-j]

Thank you! 🙂

[Ems-j]

Thank you Mary I’m so glad you are in a good place and thank you for taking the time out to reply, I appreciate it a lot!!

[Baker84]

Hi Ems-js just seen this on my threads and thought I would see how your going, I hope your feeling better about things.