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Iv got no idea

Dunno_anymore
Community Member

Have no idea what to say, I figure Iv been depressed for years now, always angry or sad, sad or angry, unless I'm drinking, mind you that's not very often

i have three children, two of which are living with autism, I share custody of them 50/50 with my ex. She left me for a woman, that was a bit hard to accept but Iv moved past that anger and hurt, after all she's still a great mum

I have a decent job that pays all the bills, I just hate most of the judgmental right wing rednecks I'm stuck working with, guys I thought were decent and considered friends have certainly shown their true colours whilst debating the marriage equality survey.

id like to quit but if I lose my job I lose my house, my kids need somewhere to live long after I'm gone.

i feel lost, I feel stuck, i feel weak, I feel like a failure for being here writing this, I feel like pressing delete and forgetting today

1 Reply 1

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dunno anymore~

I'm glad you did not press delete, needing to talk things over with people you can be sure will understand of how you feel and the situation you are in is just plain sensible.

I can well understand your reaction to those at your work, the survey does bring out the worst in people at times. I guess one of the skills we all try for in life is how to get along with those we think are misguided, thoughtless or just plain wrong. Often not easy, particularly if their attitudes come as a surprise.

I think you will agree there is no point in making a grand gesture, or reacting to pressure and resigning, as you say you have responsibilities. How much you enter into debate with them is a judgment call. Somebody very skilled with words maybe might change a mind, then again maybe not. Your vote will count just the same.

While I'm sorry your marriage broke up I'm impressed with the even-handed way you regard your ex, acknowledging she is a good parent. I can well imagine it took a lot of time and grief to get to think that way.

Having 50/50 custody of 3 kids, 2 with autism, is another very hard load. On top of all that you said you had suffered from depression for years, living a life alternating between anger and sadness.

May I ask if you have been diagnosed and are under treatment. I know form my own experience I was not able to even start to improve by myself and needed medical support. If you are under treatment how about visiting oyu GP or whoever is in charge and setting out how you have been recently, maybe things can be adjusted.

If you are not being treated I'd strongly suggest you see your GP in a long consultation and set out how you have been feeling, sadness, anger and so on, and for how long. Also what your circumstances are now. If you think you might not be clear write it down first, as I have done, and share the paper. It is no weakness to get treatment for an illness, just common sense.

Apart from the medical side, do you have any personal support, someone you can talk frankly with, who wants to understand and help?

There are many here with similar problems, have a look around and see how others have coped. If you need more info on depression then look in The Facts menu above.

I hope by now you are more comfortable with making that first post and are able to talk here more

Croix