Isolated from people

[BecaC]

Hey everyone,

i never thought I'd be the one to do this, but... I need advice, I honestly don't know how to cope anymore. The backstory to this is easy, when I was 14 my parents separated, I lived with my mother for a bit, but we didn't get along very well.

We would get into physical, as well as verbal fights nearly every night, before it escalated into her kicking me out. I haven't seen her in 6 years. I went to live with my dad, which was fantastic, until my grandparents (about a year ago), moved in as well. They didn't like me because they hated my mother.

I am, as to be understood by their claims everyday, a carbon copy of her in both looks and personality, which always left me very defensive, because I didn't want to be compared to the woman who threw me out. Eventually, the same thing happened again, and they quite frankly told me that I was no longer welcome. My dad was upset, but he made no move to help me at all, and still lives with my grandparents in his house.

i tried staying with my aunt, but apparently I had upset my grandmother so much that she was "traumatised" and I wasn't welcome there either.

i couldn't afford to live on my own, so I had to drop out of university half way through my course, and my manager (I work in fast food) said they'd promote me to Manager as well.

I have no contact with my family, my friends at Uni no longer converse with me, and I didn't have too many friends in high school, certainly none now. I've moved stores so I could be a manager as well.

I've never felt so alone in my life. I don't go out anymore, and I just feel like I'm losing my will to do anything. I'm struggling to see the point in doing anything anymore. I can't even comprehend the point. I have no idea how to handle the feelings, I just want to stop feeling so sad.

[pipsy]

Hi BecaC. So sorry to hear your sad story. I can only imagine how you must be feeling now. Your g'parents were looking for a reason to throw you out, so they used the excuse you resembled your mum. Is there somebody from your mum's side of the family you could approach for help? Unsure of your age, have you thought about approaching C'link for help with relation to finding suitable accommodation. C'link will also help with financial assistance. Someone else on the forums might have more knowledge. If you are alone right now and need help, please call lifeline or our own support centre. BB has trained counsellors who will listen and guide. At the bottom of this page there is a list of support services, please don't hesitate to call.

Lynda

[Guest_322]

Hi Beca,

The rejection and vilification from your family must hurt so much. When your own father fails to defend you, that cuts deep. Like Pipsy, I'm also very concerned about your safety so please consider the contacts that she mentioned if the need arises (and/or even if it's you just to talk).

I'm not really sure of the right things to say. For what it's worth, I can relate to some of your post.

I'm a uni student who voluntarily moved out when I was 18 (now 20). I realise it's very different to being kicked out and the 2 can't really be compared. I left because of an unhappy home environment...even so...it's not the same as being told to leave.

I couldn't (still can't) afford to live on my own so I've always lived with housemates. I currently live with 3 housemates and it helps to share the rent, groceries, etc between the 4 of us.

Dropping out of uni must have been a huge blow to you. An American uni student once said that she felt her colleagues- at her casual job- deserved a (tertiary) education but "had to make a living" (or something to that effect). So much truth in her words. It's sad when that happens.

The loneliness, the loss and sense of uncertainty all jump out of your post. I've had some really dark times in my life where I couldn't see a future for myself. Everything felt so hopeless and pointless at the time so I can empathise with some of your feelings. I guess what I'm trying to say is I know you're hurting and struggling. Please keep reaching out. Hang in there. I hope we hear from you again.

Dottie x

[themadchatter]

Hello BecaC, I can truly relate to the feeling of being isolated as you do. Several years ago I had a wide circle of friends but life took over and I witnessed several weddings take place one after another. Some I was invited to, other I was not and now it's gotten to the point in which they are all married and some have started families and here I am still as the single guy. I let that get to me and got a bit envious that they were finding happiness with partners but I was not and just got harder for me to be around them. I distanced myself and that's when depression or depressive symptoms entered into my mind. Every now and then I will message one of them and see how they are doing, but they don't reply. So I just distanced myself even further and now all I really have is my internet friends. The thoughts that arise from feeling isolated I can understand. What I have written here is not to vent myself but to show you I can truly understand how you feel. If ever you need someone to talk to not just as a person concerned about your well-being but as a friend to you Beca you can count on me. I'll do what I can to give you back what you have no longer. I'll be your friend.

Damien