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Is this normal?

Community Member

My boyfriend of 3 years has traveled with his family to the UK, and he has no idea when he will return.

They went over there for a family wedding. Since he is a UK citizen he has decided he wants to stay there and get some work for a while. I didn't actually think he was going to do it in the end... things got complicated before he was due to leave (lack of funds, fighting with his family) so I didn't let it worry me.

But then the time came around and he decided to do it. I'm really proud of him... there were so many factors telling him not to go, but he was brave and did it because he wanted to do it.

But now we have no idea how long he will be there for. His flight home is open-ended, and he doesnt know if this could become 6 months or maybe 2 years.

It's been one month already and I just can't seem to come to terms with it all. I'm sad all the time, which is not like me at all. I miss him so much, we barely get to talk due to the time difference (and his lack of credit). I have so much free time now. I didn't realize how much I relied on his company.

I find myself crying all the time. Everything I do, every task I set myself seems like a distraction from my sadness. I feel I can't enjoy anything completely.

Is this normal? To feel so empty and lonely? I'm fortunate enough to be surrounded by my lovin family, but I feel they grow tired on my constant moping. And their company just isn't the same.

I just don't know how to cope.

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi lady, welcome

This us one of those suggestive threads in that there is no "normal". Some people don't mind their boyfriend staying there for 2 years for example.

However, you are yourself so if you don't feel it us acceptable then you need to implement changes.

I can tell you what I would do, if that helps?. I would tell him to make a choice a life here or a life there. Simple.

If there is no answer within one week I'd assume its a life there.

He has options s to communicate. Even by letter. Phone calls could be limited to a few minutes and Skype?

Hope that helps but I suggest that your feelings are yours alone and you don't need justification from others.

Be strong. Life's hurdles will always come around. Jump them to seek a good life.

Tony WK

Community Member

Hi Lady Lamington

Tony WK has given you very good advice.

I was previously in a relationship for 4 years of which majority was long distance. My ex was based in Ireland so completely understand the time difference. It is normal to miss the person you love, the lack of ability to hug the person is tough but you will need to assess your needs and happiness first. If you are unable to do the long distance this is where, as Tony WK has stated, let him know that he needs to make a decision how long he intends to stay there. If it is going to be 2 years, then you need to ask yourself are you both able to work through being apart. It isn't easy but of course communication, skype, writing letters (as I did in the past) etc is important.