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Im new, and friendless.
I've had anxiety and depression for years, the depression from a car accident at 18 months of age. Been tossed from dr to dr from moving around alot as dad was in the army, so we moved every two years. Depression destroyed my first marriage.
Im now 54, and its been a roller coaster ride for me, because every different doctor has a different treatment. Im also on disability for having lupus, fibro, polymyalgia, asthma, depression and anxiety.
My new hubby has advanced prostate cancer, and has been told that once his chemo stops working, [ and it will], he wont have too long left. My hubby is my carer. If he dies, i will be dying along with him, as no one wants me, and i cannot live without him. Even now, we cannot afford to live, and cant even afford to die.
I dont know what you can say to help me. I usually cry myself to sleep every night.
Hi there welcome to beyond blue forums. A friendly place to unwind ask for helpful advice. Some of us have similer problems as yourself and your partner. As I have depression, anxiety, ptsd, cancer, artheritis in both knees, asma. Which I think is more than enough. But I am not giving up yet. I have allready lost a partner to cancer, no friends. I made my own purpice to live.
Hello Lycan welcome to Beyond Blue, it lovely to meet you.
I'm so terribly sorry life has dealt you such a 'bad hand'. Life is never fair though, and I guess all any of us can do is make the most of what we have been dealt.
I too am in my mid 50's and married. And like you, I have both anxiety and depression. For me it is the result of PTSD from a past trauma. Also like you I have physical problems resulting in chronic muscular-skeletal pain and inflamation issues.
Several years ago my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer, a frightening experience for both of us. Thankfully his affected kidney was removed, but leaving him with chronic kidney disease in his remaining kidney. Then last year he had another cancer scare, this time a melanoma. Again he had successful surgery. So he has had some cancer scares, but thankfully come through reasonably well, physically at any rate. He has mental health and alcohol issues and I am his carer. So we have a few things in common I guess.
Lycan I wish I could wave a magic wand and lighten your very heavy emotional load. Kanga, who has also responded to you, has told you of his own story. Thanks Kanga my friend, you really are an inspiration. There are others here on BB too who have told stories similar to yours.
So you are not alone Lycan. You have been heard and you have been understood. Any time you wish to talk, please feel free to come on line and post again. There are many people here, all like you and I with mental health issues, who are very kind and supportive. We would all love to hear back from you.
People find a way through even the very worst that life throws at them. The human race really are a very resilient bunch. My best wishes are with your husband, as well as for you Lycan. Medicine is always evolving, and new cures for previously untreatable illnesses are constantly being discovered. Please dont give up hope.
You didnt say whether you have tried medication for your depression/anxiety. With everything happening in your life right now, do you think it could be time to consider that as an option? It doesnt have to be a long term solution, unless it works so well that you choose for it to be. Sometimes we just need a little help to get us through a crisis moment. And when the crisis is over, we can go back to self help methods. When was the last time you saw your GP? I would suggest you book an appointment soon.
Sending you a comforting hug. I care about you.
I've nothing profound or magic to make things better for you -or your husband. Life has dealt the pair of you pretty horrible hands.
I notice in your image there is a little dog I think (bit hard to see) -is it yours? I've 2 cats and a dog that rule the roost, a big part of my life.
I got sidetracked. What I wanted to say was this: at one stage in my life I felt things were hopeless with no hope of improvement - as it turns out I was wrong, but that doesn't matter. I was sitting in front of the tv and just doing nothing, not really even thinking what I saw a very old comedy -Get Smart. It was so ridiculous I actually smiled, and wanted more.
It drove thoughts of my plight out of my mind for a few brief minutes -it was gold.
I'm not belittling your problems, they would be so hard to cope with, but I am wondering if there is anything in your life like Get Smart was in mine, a means of stepping out into a happier place for a little while?
Like Taurus and Kanga I care, and would wish you did not have to cry at night
Dear Lycan, you have friends here, we care and want to be your friend. We are concerned about you and would like to hear from you. We are here for you.
Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for posting your story and as you can see, you have already made friends and people who care about your situation, along with myself.
I am so sorry to read what you and your husband are going through, I couldn't imagine the pain you both are going through. I don't have the magic piece of advice to offer you but I wanted to reach out and offer my support and that you are welcome to post in your thread here as much as you like and we will always try to reply to you, even if you just want to vent or talk about your day. This is a safe, non judgemental forum as well.
May I start by asking and this may be a continuation of what Croix asked, is there anything currently that you enjoy or like doing? Anything that makes you smile?
My best for you and your husband,
So often we have comments by people that are truly so sad, although each one is, but sometimes there is one that goes that extra distance, so we try our utmost to join with you in your grief, because not only does depression/anxiety cause so much pain is when people are diagnosed with another medical condition that only increases the way you feel.
All men are terrified of getting prostate problems, especially to the extent your husband is at the moment, so I am so very sorry for the two of you, and what it also means is that your depression is only going to compound your condition.
Yes I wish there was a magic wand, wouldn't that just be perfect, and how many times have I always asked for it myself.
All the people above me have given you their very best thoughts, just as I do, but please keep in touch with us, all of us have been through our own terrible experiences and that's why we can relate to your comment. Geoff.
Thank you all for your replys. Im on medication for depression and my dr has put me on medication for anxiety.
Money is a big issue with us as im on a disability and hubby can only work 2 days a week. Even then centerlink deduct from me what he earns.
You ask what would make me happy. If just one person on fb said hello. Or if family members checked up on me. That would make a big difference.
Im worried about the future as we cant afford ti live. The only thing that keeps me going atm are my cats. They cuddle me when im sad.
Thank you for showing me im not alone
Hi Lycan and thankyou so much for getting back to us.
I will make this brief, but I wanted you to know that we all care about you, and will be happy to continue to check in with you for however long as you would like. So please know that you can come back any time you want some reassurance that you are not alone.
You may not be getting the support from family members that you would like, or would normally expect, but you will definitely get it from people here.
I accept that things are difficult for you financially, so your options are limited. But where there is a will, there is always a way. I gather from your reply that the anti-anxiety medication is a relatively recent thing? I hope that proves to be successful in reducing your anxiety symptoms.
As for having your cats, I totally understand that. I have a little dog, Tammie, and she is my best mate. Something that may interest you - there is a pet thread in the Staying Well section that you might get some enjoyment from reading. And if you are willing to share some stories of your cats, then your contribution to the thread would be very welcome. Many of us here have pets and love reading about other peoples companion animals. Google the following link:
I hope you enjoy reading through the many stories contained there. And I look forward to hearing about your cats too.
I know it's all tough at the moment but you have come to the right forums in terms of support, as you can tell there is a good support network here for you. You simply just have to write back, this is your thread and you can post here as much as you like, even if it is just to talk.
Please, stay strong.