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I wish i had a loving family
I was supposed to pay the internet bill a few days ago because id finally be able to keep my money for once and save up so i can finally leave this house.. They aren't too happy with me atm.. I guess it was my fault like always, i spoke rudely to them but only because they treat me the same.
im not even allowed to speak my feelings, they always make it about themselves or saying im "talking back". all i can ever do is cry or make vent drawings because its the only way i can express my feelings quietly without being told to "shut up"
but i cant even draw now because i broke my phone, i also use my phone to submit reports so i can receive my youth pay (i live in Australia) so i cant do that either.. My father wont even help because hes still pressed about the internet bill, i was told to buy it myself but how can i if i cant receive pay?
Thankfully a friend ive known for a few years offered to help!
it feels like when ever i speak to my parents or ask them for something, they sound annoyed with me like i did something wrong..
Was it really that wrong to save money? Everything i do just leads to fights, i just wanna leave already 😞
I dont know your age, I assume late teens?
Anyway, my answer does depend on your age as low teens and high teens is totally different.
So I'll try to be the devils advocate here. What if your parents are correct on an issue and you are wrong? Unfortunately some teenagers put all their parents comments and decisions in the one basket- the basket of domination meaning even when they are right about a topic they are considered wrong. This is, being immature. Every conflict, every decision should be handled separately. To be true to ourselves if some one is right about a topic but we had a huge argument about a totally different topic an hour earlier, we should combine the two in our response or reactions. Right is right, wrong is wrong.
When you are dealing with people always speak to them respectfully. If they talk down to you and in a rude manner then there is a better approach- reply back to them calmly, no yelling and no swearing. If they are rude call them out for it "I didnt swear at you nor talk rudely so I'd appreciate it if you would do the same". Two wrongs dont make a right.
The internet bill- you are responsible for that yes? Then not paying it is wrong. There is no half way measures- its wrong, no ifs no buts. If you dont want to pay for the internet than dont have the internet.
However, I'm not saying your parents actions are all acceptable. If they are telling you to "shut up" then that isnt nice. Again say calmly and quietly- "please dont talk to me like that".
To get along with your parents better-
- comply with agreements
- If you want to stop complying with agreements tell them the reason and discuss it. Dont wait until the overdue bill arrives
- Talk to them in a respectful manner
- Remind them they are talking to you in a disrespectful manner
- Keep your voice down
- The more mature you act the better they'll treat you
- Take responsibility for all of your possessions and household duties
- Remember they are human and make mistakes
- The grass is greener on the other side of the fence- once you leave home that green imagination quickly vanishes when you have more bills than you can handle.
- There is a best practice method for everything. Some times going about things the wrong way will land you in trouble. Communication is the best method. Teamwork is best
I would be more subjective about your parents if I knew their side of the situation so thats why most things have been addressed about your actions.
All the best
Thank you for replying, although i may not agree with some of the things you said. im currently 18 years old and have always wondered if im the mistaken one, i do want make things right but i never know what to do or how to speak with them,
In the past, my father and i didnt have a great relationship, i would explain the things he did but it might be too much for here.
I have also gotten into trouble for things i haven't done, whenever i do try to explain they dont let nor believe me, im upset because they'd never listen
If you have more advice, im happy to know! 😄
Hello Mochiibee, when you are a young teenager and happen to rub your parents up the wrong way on a continual basis, and I'm not suggesting this has been the case at all, but become the black sheep of the family, then everything you say they will disagree with you straight away, even though at some point they may agree with you, it won't be admitted and anything that's gone wrong, they will naturally blame you, especially if your relationship with your father is not the best.
If you are now allowed to keep your money, then does that mean it was taken away from you to be managed by your parents/father.
Also, is your phone on a contract, if not you can get a new phone over a 24 month period from a company, either the same one or another supplier, or this may still be possible if you can pay off the old contract as well pay for the new one, depends on your situation.
With the internet are you able to submit your reports at the library and secondly as you are 18 you can have your payments directed into your account at another bank or bar anyone from accessing your money.
If you can become independent financially from your family, then you can save so you can eventually move out.
Please let us know.
First, I've had that phone for a few years so im unsure if i have a contract with them, i did calmly explain to them that i just wanted to save up money, i realised that i was in the wrong for speaking rudely, i just cant let go of this grudge i hold against him. I really should have checked with them to see if i could spend it, (i give them $200 for the bill-)
I guess i dont like the feeling of being controlled by them anymore? Im not sure, oh about that friend, they couldn't help due to reason, but im perfectly fine with that. I do have my own bank, and found out that i can use a website to submit, not just an app!
Hello Mochiibee, if you have had that phone for a few years then surely any contract would have run out, which is good, then you could sign up on a new contract, if that suits you, where they will provide a new phone and then possibly find out about a plan for the interenet, however, many people I know use their phone to communicate with others etc rather than buying an internet contract.
You are old enough to control your own life and probably better for your independence.
Good luck and please let us know.
Your protectors have become your adversaries who probably doubt your capacity to manage your own affairs, and are therefore being obstructive in your quest to succeed (whereas they should be supporting your desire for independence in transition to fiscal responsibility).
So I congratulate you for having realistic aspirations, although I would contradict that your family do not love you (or you, them) - perhaps just a little hurt by the realisation that you are no longer a child, and that their roles must necessarily adapt to your life and how you choose to live it... eventually. 😉
Firstly I do applauded you for being mature to reply to us, even if we disagree or I made too many assumptions.
At 17yo I joined the Airforce. Joining the ADF is not for everyone but it can bring huge benefits like
- Adult pay
- Cheap meals and accommodation
- Personal growth
- Free medical and dental
- Career choices
Just a thought