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I went through his phone... And found this...

Community Member

I looked through his phone at the end of January... And I found that he sent photos of me to one of his best friends. The photos of me were topless (nude). I haven't said anything for the past 4-5 months. I don't know what to do. I want to talk about it but I don't know how to approach the situation? I am so scared that he will just use that I went on his phone on his messages and use that as his argument. He is very stubborn and I feel I will struggle when I try to speak to him about this. I am a very soft and sensitive person. I have said to him that I hate people who invade others privacy, but I did it to him. I am not sure what to do... How do I bring this up calmly to discuss it? I still don't know if I want to bring it up because I don't know if I want the relationship to end... He is my best friend and he's my rock. Despite this.

We have had issues with trust in the past.

Please, any advice?

2 Replies 2

Hi LUCIDFOX_X, we're including links to a couple of earlier threads below as they provide some background to your story that may help our members in providing you with support:

My partner has gone to prison

Boyfriend cheated...accidentally?

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi LucidFox,

This is a massive breach of your trust and is a little concerning. To me, this isn’t the appropriate behavior for a man in a loving relationship, I would expect this more from a man who has met a stranger down the pub and had a one night stand - still appalling behavior but he has shown a blatant disregard for you and that’s not ok. If it was me, I’d sit him down and come straight out and say “I want to know why you sent naked photos of me to X”. He may try and deflect it with the “you’ve been going through my phone” but I wouldn’t get involved in any of that because, while I don’t condone invading anyone’s privacy, I think that you are right not to trust him.

You’re in a bit of a tricky situation, I think that you know that his behavior is not ok, but I think that you are also in an emotionally vulnerable position. Your support network doesn’t sound so solid and you want to love someone and be loved in return so much that you may be willing to overlook some less than stellar behavior in the hopes of getting there. I guess my question is, do you believe that this man is ever going to love you in the way that you want to be loved? If so, then I hope you work this out. But if you think there will be other issues such as this in future, it may be worthwhile to think about that in more detail.