I really need to talk to someone

[akajackal]

I have things going on in my life, I don't really have anyone to share with. I'm a father of a 8yr old boy and a 7yr old girl. I work long hours. Trying to meet both ends. My wife she looks after house hold, works casual, looks after the kids. I lost both my parents they were gone abruptly. Also in a time when I needed them the most. My brother is an addict. I did not have anytime to grieve for them. I never caught a break. I didn't have my wife or anyone to share what I went through. I had to keep going, providing for the family. Then you have all the ups and downs in life, from loosing job, training, studying, finding another one, then you got covid 19. The only person I could turn to was my wife. Whenever I wanted to open up, I was told being over dramatic, or not giving her more importance even when my parents are not there. Everytime I try to fix things, it's these small bits of faults that she draws out that make things worse. I've lost the motivation to keep going, after all, what's left for me is my family. If I'm only as good as just a money making machine, what good am I for? I hate myself as a person.

[blondguy]

Hi akajackal

Welcome and thanks for being a part of the forums too

I understand you as I have also experienced the same and it awful to go through. You are strong for posting on the forums in the first place...that takes serious strength....

Im really sorry for the loss of your mum and dad. I cant even imagine what that would feel like...

Please dont hate yourself. We are good listeners....I really hope you can stick around the forums if and when you wish to. The forums are a safe and non judgmental place for us to post

my kind thoughts

Paul

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to the forums.

Sad to hear what you have had to experience and go through. And it sounds like you did not have time to grieve over the loss of your parents. Some of the things you mentioned going through can be very stressful events.

My experience shows me negative thoughts have an ability to smother any good things.

To write here about what you are feeling takes courage as well. To be able the talk to someone (even in this space) who can understand what you are saying ...

As Paul said, this is a safe and non judgmental place for us to post and we are good listeners.

Maybe if I can share a little about what I have done you might be able to take something from that...One thing I had to do when I was in a very low place was to find small things to be thankful for each day, and something to look forward to. A year or two after that, my psychologist gave me tips to talk with my wife - might have that for another post.

So I will sit here with you for a bit and listen to your story. I hope you will come back and post some more.

Tim

[geoff]

Hello Akajackal, can we offer you a warm welcome and for posting a very difficult comment on your behalf and I want to agree with Paul and Tim in their warm welcome as well.

I'm also so very sorry for the loss of your parents and for the lack of support you are wanting at home from your wife, plus a brother who is an addict and certainly wouldn't be of any help in trying to support you through any of this and leaves you in a precarious position, so I hope we can be of some assistance.

Your two children must love you in every respect and adore the time they spend with you as they begin to develop into their own little human beings, with a different personality, mirrored from you, that's what parenthood is about, the love we have for them can give us the strength we need to get on with our life.

They know when you're not feeling well, they're astute, by the look on your face and their affection will always remain, that's the purpose in life to give you the strength you need and from this will develop another direction you decide to take and needs to begin with talking to someone who understands your circumstances and can find different ways for you to eventually expand.

As the children grow your own personality will begin to change, because there are different ways for you to gain the knowledge to be able to cope with how you need to feel better.

We are here for you and want to help, plus support you as best as we can, so when you're available, please get back to us so we can suggest different options to begin to feel better.

Best wishes.

Geoff.