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I need some advice
Hi Shy girl, welcome
This separation anxiety is the pits. I can see why you are asking for help.
Anxiety comes in many forms, this is one of those. Unfortunately for you he doesn't seem to take advice and the advice has been clear- get a hobby. But, a hobby includes a degree of passion, interest that is so high that he a/ is of great interest to him, enough to take his mind away from you b/ that it could include mixing with others with the same interest and c/ that such interests are financially manageable.
But I've noticed with many people that they just are not hobby people. You can suggest things like photography, cars, flying etc but if it was a passion, they would have found it by then anyhow, hence your dilemma.
Insecurity is a common issue with people for what ever reason. Being abandoned as a child for example or if parents over control which can lead to kids always relying on others to make decisions ...these things can result in feelings of lack of confidence. It's a situation that he really needs to acknowledge and accept. Until then his attitude wont change.
I think he needs you to find a hobby for him. Ignore your feelings that - he should find one himself. Clearly that isn't working. Question him as to his interests as a child, his abilities and natural ways. I was naturally mechanical minded for example. I could easily have entered into interests like- clocks, cars, sculptures, small engine mechanics, building..whereas I ended up a tinkerer of all things. Take him on trips to markets to seek out the natural interest..."I used to fix those clocks when I was a kid"...comments that you are after.
Also chat with his parents for such advice.
Welcome back here, I'm sorry things are not going so well. The last time you spoke you were living with your husband in his mother's place and he had just stopped being an apprentice for his dad. It sounded pretty difficult for you as the major wage earner with two jobs and a large debt to try to manage, plus your relationship with your sister in law was not that good, leaving you retreating to your room.
May I ask if the situation is the same? If so it has gone on far too long and the pressure on you – now with the new over dependence – being pretty extreme.
Both the GP he saw and the councilor seem to me to be singularly unhelpful. Anxiety requires therapy, a lifestyle to minimize the condition, maybe meds (though I'm only going on my own experience) and the person with the illness cooperating wholeheartedly. Someone like a psychologist or psychiatrist can set exercises, however they must be carried out between visits.
I’d suggest trying a different GP, one who is familiar with anxiety conditions and is prepared to invest some time in getting your husband the best treatment. One does not always meet the correct doctor the first time. I know you may be in two minds if you should accompany him. If you do you can be certain the doctor understands the situation fully, if not and your husband goes by himself that could be better. The danger I guess is that your husband might just 'go though the motions' or minimize the problem. It does not sound as if he embraced treatment before.
Feeling a lack of independence, restrictions on your life and all the frustration is not something one can put up with forever. You said before you had depression and anxiety and that of course means those conditions need support too. I’d like to ask if you are under treatment, and if there is anyone in your life, a parent or family member, to offer you care and support?
Life has to be more than it is now
I'm glad you came back and talked more. It sounds as if your home situation is a little more livable, and your husband on a wage is an excellent thing, both for your finances and I'd imagine his self-confidence. Being more equal in a partnership does help.
Not being bothered to get treatment sounds a pretty big stumbling block. Perhaps he is comfortable with the way things are. As you say you can book an appointment, however my own experience is that unless one really wants to take advantage of treatment the results may well be disappointing. Frankly I was pretty motivated firstly because I felt terrible and wanted to escape those feelings, and also to support my wife who was supporting me, sometime that was very hard on her.
What do you think might motivate him?
Incidentally good luck with the new job.