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I'm scared about my relationship
I always have This feeling that partner is cheating on me. I've never caught her doing anything wrong though. I just feel like she doesn't love me like she used to. Every time I come home early from work I'm scared that I'm going to find a another man in my bed with the love of my life. I'm scared of what I would do to said man.
I always try to play it off and be romantic (flowers and chocolate) that sort of thing. I work every day for 13-14 hours straight and the only alone time is when she come to visit for lunch or when I come home late from work. I'm scared that she doesn't love me anymore.
Can I please get some help with this matter I'm scared I'm going to lose her. Every time I think about it I start to cry and I can't stop until I've had a panic attack.
Sounds some challenging thoughts that you are having about your relationship there. When I think like that I feel a little overwhelmed and cry a little too. If you step back for a moment it is something you fear, the reality is that it hasn't happened, right? I don't think it ever hurts to talk, I think it means more than chocolate or flowers but they are still lovely. So what would you say to her that you haven't yet? Feeling that way can't be nice, perhaps do something different or say something different. Remember to do something nice for yourself too.
Firstly, welcome to the forums.
My first thought would be, have you tried talking to her about what you are feeling? Relationships and love in general have a way of making us think of things in a completely irrational light and I have felt this way before but my anxiety made it worse because I am a chronic overthinker.
You need to see the positive in her, she hasn't done anything wrong as you said but has she given you any reason to believe she may cheat on you? People get comfortable in relationships and that may just be her, being comfortable which can come across as "not loving like they used too"
My best for you,
I can understand how that constant worry that your partner may be cheating on you and thinking you will find another man in bed with her must be extremely difficult. What comes to mind first is what makes you think that she doesn't love you anymore? It is true, as BballJ said, sometimes people get comfortable in relationships and they may come across as they are less into you. Like my boyfriend does not always give me the attention which I got from him at the start of our relationship. Having said that though, your feelings are totally valid. Take every situation as feedback. Perhaps by you thinking she doesn't love you is highlighting something in your relationship that can be improved on.
I think you can perhaps take everyday as it comes. Looking into the future and speculating what may happen will drive you crazy. "The best way you can take care of the future, is to take care of the present moment" (Thich Nhat Hahn).I think its important to remember you are worthy, you are good enough. You must love yourself 100%. All you can do is give a relationship your all and be yourself. And what will be will be.
I hope this helps in some way. I will be interested to hear your thoughts.
Can I ask you is it better for you to work long hours
13-14 hours each day will make your partner bored, OK she can sleep in, watch some TV and then make some dinner, but to do this
A lady wants company, time alone with her partner to go out and go
I think the points Geoff made were spot on . Woman need to spend quality time with their partners to feel that they are loved. Flowers and chocolates are nice in the moment but they do not make us feel any more loved/appreciated in the long run. Quality time is such an essential thing to make your relationship stronger and more fulfilling. Perhaps she is acting off with you or acting like she does not love you because she barely gets to see you and so she is becoming out of touch with you and disconnecting from you more and more. As Geoff said, if you think this lovely lady is the love of your life, I think you should seriously consider cutting your hours at work or changing jobs.
I'm more concerned your working 13-14 hours every day. Hopefully you're earning mega cash or have the promise of earning mega cash because that's unsustainable long-term. Junior doctors are about the only people I know who work those hours - but there's a goal in sight. No wonder you're stressed.
Can you provide more info please? Do you live together, how long have you been together, do you spend quality time together on your days off??? Seriously though, working those hours is not hugely conducive to a productive relationship, unless it's only for the short term