I love him but he used that

Daizyflower · ‎16-07-2020

I love a guy who was a close friend of mind until he threatened the police because I was pressing for answers. I told him I like him awhile ago but there were other girls involved so I backed off. We were still friends and actually become quite close. Lately I realise I like him again so I told. He didn't real respond with anything but we still talk and started hanging out one on one. He invited me to his place but no one else was home, he took advantage of these. He made moves against me and really thought he liked me. We hangout again and we flirting but then out of nowhere is like I don't like you like that. I was blank at the time and was sending him things to make my feeling know but he started calling me obsessed. Apparently I wasn't listen and then he get mean.

He made me the bad guy for taken how he was with me the wrong way. He said all of the things like he wasn't going to hurt me, he only does things with people he really likes, he was saying all of the rights and all apparently in the heat of moments even though he know how he felt and how I did.

pinwheel23 · ‎16-07-2020

Hi Daizyflower,

Welcome to the forums.

It sounds like you really care for him and he just wasn't on the same page as you. Even though he said he doesn't like you like that, his actions seem to be confusing. He didn't want to hurt your feelings but whether or not it was on purpose, he has. You might be feeling like he was taking advantage of your feelings and the attention you were giving him. I'm sorry that he made you feel like the bad guy.

I hope that reaching out here has helped in some way. I would love to hear more about how you're going and what you need during this time.

Daizyflower · ‎19-07-2020

Hi pinwheel,

My feelings are still all over the place, I'm angry then I'm sad. I feel like I can't trust anyone because of what happened and how he was so close to me. It's coming up to a big birthday for me and I don't even want to celebrate it anymore because I organised it for him to be there. I am lost and so unsure on what to do next.

I have friends who are so close to him and I don't know how to be around them. I just want it to get out of my head.

quirkywords · ‎19-07-2020

Daizyflower, it is no wonder you are confused, have mixed feelings and are all over the place. He seemed to giving you mixed messages and so confused then. You thought he felt the same as you and then he seemed to change.

I am sorry you feel so lost and unsure, Do you have other friends that are not his friends.

Is it ok to do an activity you enjoy on your own or with a friend. It may take time to feel better and see things clearly.

You will feel confused for a while . If posting here helps when are here to support you.

Daizyflower · ‎19-07-2020

quirkywords, I don't have any friends that aren't close to him that I can get in contact with. Also with COVID I am unable to play on my netball which I am feeling the effect of.

I have been hurt before which is something I am actually really struggling to do deal with, It forming major trust issues that is now going to friends because they are all male.

pinwheel23 · ‎22-07-2020

Hey daizyflower,

It must be really difficult feeling like you don't have anyone close who can trust wholeheartedly. It is normal to shift between feeling angry and sad about what has happened. As quirkywords said, some things take time. Having the same circle of friends, in addition to all of them being male, is complicated. If being around them is hard for you, it's okay for you to step back a bit.

The current distancing/lockdown situation does really limit our activities and opportunities to meet new people:( Do you play netball for a team?

I hope you've been able to get out for some fresh air, even if it is through just walking around your block.