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i left home - help
this is to do with my relationship with my parental figures/guardians. long story short a lot of events have been leading up to this moment (over 6 months to a year of built up issues) because this situation is quite complicated. basically, I have become so emotionally, mentally and physically run down because of the pressure I'm under from my parents. this is because I do everything for them, I cook and clean the house, look after my siblings all the time whenever I'm not working, and I'm working in the family business 24/7 not being payed the proper amount or being treated the same as any other employee there because of family ties. do everything under the sun to help support my family, I broke. the last straw was an argument I got into with my parents and they said some things to me that were extremely nasty and hurtful and left me home. so I turned around and phoned them up and explained I would be staying with another family relative for a few days to have some space, take a break and distress because I was at breaking point. however they didn't take it very well and then I was harassed with phone calls and texts, being accused and attacked and made to feel unimportant and that my feelings were wrong although they know my mental health history. its been 4 days now, and I'm going back home, and I don't know how to handle them.
has anyone else experienced anything like this? if so I'm in need of urgent help and I need advice because I don't have a lot of support.
in advance thankyou to everyone 🙂
mate first off thanks for sharing that,I’m new to this forum myself.
but from what I’ve just read from your battle with your parents,it sounds tough.
No body including yourself should be made to feel like your worthless or under appreciated,at the end of the day you are there son right?
Its good that you are such a hard working and determined guy who does do a lot for them.
mate i was in the exact same boat approximately 9months ago with my Mum,she was an alcoholic ever since myself and my twin brother were of the age 3. Since then she relapses time to time and spirals out into abuse and nasty comments when she does drink.
i did the same as you and left the house pretty much stating I couldn’t take it anymore,and that the amount of pressure I was under to try and hold the family together was ridiculous,mind due being 22yrs old and having 2 children under the age of 2 and working full time 5.30-4 6 days a week I couldn’t take it anymore.
I also was contacted by her a short time later with phone calls and messages and saying very nasty things.
I ignored it all,I didn’t retaliate the situation or let the nasty things she had to say get to me,Becuase I new she was hurting more then I was.
Anyway mate where I’m trying to go with this is that you no in yourself that you’ve done everything you possibly can to try and please these 2 adults who raised you all your life but it seems as if your hard work and respect in under appreciated.
i think from what you said your doing a GREAT job and by no means should be having to put up with any of the abuse.
My advice,do what your heart tells you to do,the only person that you need to make happy is yourself.
here’s a quote I wrote,I hope you find some use out of it,and remember your doing a great job my friend!
“Change is one of the most difficult things that we face
But change is inevitable
One reason we don’t like change
Is we get comfortable where we are
We get used to our friends, our job, the place we live
And even if it’s not perfect we accept it, because it’s familiar
And what happens is, because we’re not willing to change
We get stuck in what God used to do
Instead of moving forward into what God is about to do”
thankyou so much!!
unfortunately we have too much in common in that my mum is also an alcoholic and gets very emotionally abusive towards me when she is drunk. this therefor leads to further arguments not just with me but between her and my father ect. ending terribly and not on good terms -- this is what I mean by its a complicated situation as there is so much surrounding all of this toxic behaviour.
thankyou so much, and yes I do feel very under appreciated and unrecognised for what I do, and thats not to say I need praise because that's not in my nature to do so or expect that at all, but just a simple thankyou and acknowledgement would make it all easier. and then the same support in return when I'm in need (as a parent should do as that's there role for their child to support them).
I do feel like I need to follow my heart, although my head is screaming at me the logical answer and my emotions are slightly harder to control and trust right now my heart or 'gut instinct' is what I should be following instead, so thankyou for giving me clarity with that because I didn't think of that myself.
and might I just add as well, dude that piece you wrote really hit me hard so thankyou greatly for sharing that with me because that made me feel a lot better. you have no idea how much I appreciate you reaching out to me to give me not only your support (which I really needed so thankyou again!) but also your really helpful advice.
P.S welcome to the forum aswell! 🙂