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I haven't had a friend in almost a decade
I am in my early twenties and haven't had a friend in almost 10 years. I am very familiar with loneliness and have had my fair share of it. These days I don't feel loneliness too much, I have accepted that I may live the rest of my life without a friend. Acquaintances are all I have ever made for the last few years. I would like to think there is at least one person in the world I would be able to create a lasting connection with. I'd like to make one genuine friend in the next few years or so but I don't know where to start. It feels like people have already created their friendship circles and left no place vacant. I find it incredibly hard to trust people, even my family. The closest thing I have to a friend is myself, any issues I have ever had has been left to my little brain, but I like the idea of having someone to talk to every now and then. I don't stay anywhere longer than I need to be, after work or study I just head home and either study more or play video games which keep me occupied until the next day. I am neither happy or sad, I don't know how else to describe the feeling I have the majority of the time.
I'd like to know if there is anyone who can relate, and possibly have advice on making a friend.
Thanks for reading
I'm sorry to hear your predicament but it's not at all an unfixable situation. There are many places to find new friends if you don't mind differences in age. I was in a similar situation as you. I had friends but they were mostly from high school and I felt stagnant and alone. So I joined a couple of interest societies, such as public speaking and horticulture. A lot of the people involved are retired but there are also a steady flow of people aged 20-40 too. Older people have a lot of experience in many situations so maybe you'll find some like minded friends. In addition I made sure I volunteered for committee positions as I'm very shy and find it difficult to approach people. This way they have to talk to me. Also, these kind of activities look good on your CV.
thanks for your post. After having been reading these forums for a few months I felt really strongly about what you wrote and I’m so sorry to hear you feel this way. I’ve never posted on this forum before today but I wanted to today to tell you that no matter how alone you feel, there are always people you can talk to even on this very forum. I understand the feelings you’re having. I’m quite shy and have no where near as many friends as I would like. I also feel that I’m resigned to being alone throughout life.
it’s unfortunate that the more connected we seem to be through our technology, the less meaningful interactions we seem to have face to face to build those connections with others. The best advice I can give is to try and say yes to things, even when you really don’t want to. If it’s drinks after work, or activities outside of work, even things with family that you probably don’t feel like you want to do.
While i completely appreciate that it is daunting to try, have a look at meetup groups specifically for people who have either social anxiety or are introverts. They are out there and can be a nice way to meet people who are going through the same types of thoughts and feelings you have.