I have no one....
Thanks for sharing whats happening for you. Sounds like you're struggling a lot and that you feel very alone. It takes alot of courage to reach out so we're really glad you have. We have sent a private message to check in with you. Please remember to reach out when you're feeling overwhelmed and needing to talk it through. You're never alone. In these moments you can get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
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Hi Bee, welcome
I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope I can help.
Briefly, 1996 after 11 years of being abused verbally by my wife, working 3 jobs so she could be a stay at home mum etc made a suicide attempt then left my wife one week later. Two daughters 7 and 4yo stayed with their mum. Bought a 11ft caravan and moved into a caravan park where, like you, was alone. Sad.
For 8 weeks I walked around the medium size town and one day saw a block of land in a estate window. I purchased the said land, cleared it and upon settlement with my wife, began to build my kit home. Basically I no longer had the time to grieve for my lost full time fatherhood but still had my kids for visits.
So I learned a lot- keeping busy the most important thing and moving forward, not to have regrets. A few years later my ex's new husband met with me to ask me what he can do about his wife's laziness and narcissism! So I became confident that the issues were mainly hers that ruined it all.
Material things can also play a role. In my case a sports car and a small cute dog the latter a magnet to meet people that are like minded. In the end I remarried my best friend who was actually my childrens past auntie by marriage. So to one daughter she is "mum" as that daughter had the same issues as me with her mother.
The grieving process has to take its course. In the meantime process what you want in family and friendships. It sounds like the people that you'd like to get some connection with arent around...maybe time for some new friends? Sports, hobbies, special interests all take a role in your new life. 1,2,5 and 10 year plans are a good idea. Where do I want to be in 12 months time? What job, type of relationship, where to live and am I being radical enough with my life plans to be satisfying? It's all in your hands and life can be really incredible and happy.
If you buy a dog, buy two. They play together. Have you have any of these ideas in your thoughts?
I'm here daily so I'll keep an eye out for any reply. No pressure.
In the meantime here is a thread that might help-
I didnt know your tough financial position. Pets also cost money to feed and Vet fees.
At the end of the day there is not much anyone can do for your situation. Suggesting clubs, sports, hobbies etc but again money makes the world go around so all of them are out also.
Do you have a new years resolution like finding work/more work? Money can be the root of all problems. Once that is solved things change.
Are you working now?