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I have no friends
Hi, this is my first post
So basically I'm at a really low point in my life right now, I'm really struggling. I'm feeling very lonely and isolated, and have no friends. I don't know what to do, and I feel like I'm getting worse everyday.
This all came about as I had to leave highschool after being hospitalised for depression. I lost my school friends as they moved on with their lives, and have been alone ever since. I don't really know how things are going to get better, and feel very hopeless for the future.
Thankyou for taking the time to read my post
Welcome and thank you for taking the time and having the courage to reach out to us. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely and isolated and unsure of what the future holds and if there will be any improvement. Can I ask if you have any support ? Like family around you? and how long have you been feeling like this ? It is so difficult to feel alone and seperated from friends and not knowing how to change and make things better especially if you are feeling isolated, sometimes the hardest thing to do is to reach out. I know it sounds a bit practical but is there any things that you like to do, like interest groups where you might meet like minded people ? and is there any chance of reaching out to your old friends or is it time to move on ? I recently moved to a new area and I was completely alone and I am not young anymore. It was one of the most frightening experiences of my life. I went and sourced some brochures of things I like to do and went online and joined some groups. I can't say I have made close friends yet but I can go to an outing and people are nice to me and it gives me a good feeling of connecting and a bit more confidence. You can always ring our line on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline on 13 111 4. The lines are good if you are just feeling alone and just want to have a chat and help you through the day. Are you working or studying at the moment ? I know this is a difficult time but I hope that you can get the support and connection you need in your life and I hope we can help you, please keep in touch anytime with us and let us know how you are going or if there is any support or advice we can offer. Wishing you all the best. Nikkir x
Hi Madds 97,
Thanks for sharing your story as it always helps getting feelings off your chest. When we struggle with difficult feelings and thoughts things seem more overwhelming. Please keep accessing different supports and sharing as you are probably helping others as well as yourself.
Nikkir put some very great ways to connect with people and boost your confidence. At the beginning of the year i started some volunteer work in a community day centre and loved every minute of it. The first few times were a little daunting as i felt like a square peg in a round hole, but the more i went the easier it become and the more enjoyment out of it. Staff and clients helped me develope my skills interacting with various personalities.
Transitioning from school to new experiences creates changes with groups we feel comfortable with, i feel most of us have times of loneliness and isolation at various parts of our life. Sometimes we need to connect with people to continue friendships as life can become busy.
"Living in the moment means letting go of the past and not waiting for the future. It means living your life consciously, aware that each moment you breathe is a gift."
Embrace change and enjoy your new journey.
I think posting here is a really great start. Do you mind if I ask, do you work? Is there a way you can connect with people there? Quite a few years back, I made some amazing friends through a job I was in. I have only remained friends with
When you say your high school friends have moved on with their lives, what do you mean by that? Is that something that you feel, or is it something in their actions that is telling you that?
I have a very small circle of friends now. I lost them over the years due to me focussing more on my marriage (which has now dissolved) and my studies. I never really realised how lonely having no friends is, until my husband left. I don't need a big group, quality over quantity.
I know it's suffocating right now and you feel like it won't get better. I think sometimes that it actually doesn't, but you just get better at dealing with it. You get stronger, or manage situations better.
Are you on any social media? I'm quite shy, so I find it hard talking to people in person, so sometimes online is easier.
I hope you check back in on this thread to let us all know how you're going.
Thankyou so much for your reply.
I have a few family members around me, but stuggle to talk to them as I don't want them to worry.
Ive been feeling like this for about two years.
Im so sorry to hear about your moving areas and struggling, I'm trying to work up the courage to go to an interest group. Thankyou for the suggestion.
I am starting a course of interest in the next week, which I'm really looking forward to, I think routine and being around people will help.
Wishing you every happiness,
Thankyou for your inspiring comment, I'm trying to see this as an opportunity for growth and a new beginning.
Your comunity work sounds wonderful, that's so great to hear that it not only benifited those you helped, but yours as well.
Hoping you are well,
I'm starting a course of interest next week, and hope to get a job to work part time on my days off.
I think that my highschool friends have moved on from me as they don't talk to me as much as they used to, or invite me to catch up.
Im so sorry to hear about your relationship, I sincerely hope you are well.
Yes I use social media to connect with others, but sometimes can miss face to face contact, it just seems more real. But I have benefited greatly from using it.
Im still very lonely, but I do have a more positive outlook for the future. Thankyou so much for your reply.
Wishing you all the best,
You have been and are in a dark place. It may sound useless but it will be temporary. Especially for someone as strong as you (yes you are...it took a mega effort to post here and well done to you)
I joined Beyond Blue in January this year after my depression hit me hard.
I hope you will let us be your friends 🙂 (Nikkir, Gen, Livinia09....legends...)
my kindest thoughts for you madds
This is probably the worst part because we have always expected our'friends' to be with us all the way, so it's disappointing more than it is to not see them.
Through our lives we meet new friends but they too could disappear only because we change towns, states, interests or whatever and then meet new ones, so it's a continual change, but then we have one or two special people we always stay in contact with, and this will eventually happen for you, but you have need to go and join groups, but as Liv has said it's quality over quantity.
I would think that you are seeing a doctor, and I only say this because of being in hospital, but if you don't any more then it would be a good idea, because you need to build up your strength once again and with this comes confidence and a better self esteem.
Just take it slowly, a bit by bit one day at a time. Geoff.
Thank you so much for your reply and words of encouragement;) I really appreciate it and I am so happy that you have an interest group that you are starting next week, and routine that is a great start - well done !!! Yes if it continues or you don't feel better go and see a GP and talk to them about getting a referral for sessions under medicare 6 sessions free with a psychologist or professional and get a health check/ medication. You can ring our line on 1300 22 4636 its great for an anonymous chat ( I have done this) and referrals and resources. I really think its so important to plan to do something and routine even if like me you don't always feel like it. Today I had booked into a course quite far away to have something to do and I really didn't want to go this morning but because it was $90.00 and I had no other plans and thought it not good to be alone I went. It turns out I saw someone even though we are not close friends it was some interactions and got me out of my headspace and out for the day, it really does work even though it can be alot of work. I also want to say from experience and take of this what feels right. Sometimes life just is what it is, some days are boring, lonely and not perfect and nobody is perfect. I think its unreasonable to expect ourselves to bound out of bed every day like " Tony Robbins' God love him or some of those hyped up "Positive Motivational People.' though there is a time and a place for making concious choices sometimes we have to say, actually today this is how I feel. I don't know that's what I think:) All the best with the course and please keep in touch if you would like to or have time.
Best Wishes Nikkir x