I have lost control of my 10year old son

[Mumsie123]

I am in a really low place atm and I haven’t been this low before. I walk into my home from work and I hate my house and my life, I feel like the walls are coming in on me. I can’t smile, I’m emotionless, I’m numb, I can’t concentrate, I’m snappy, I have restless legs, I’m uncomfortable and most of all I am full of guilt. Guilty that I am not friendly to my two boys anymore or my husband or mum or dad. I’m crying all day and night. This has been made worse with the night behaviour or my 10 year old son. I dread nights and I am already feeling broken this adds to my breakdown.

here are my notes from Saturday night it has happened every single night and we are on night 5 of this.

Saturday - At 2am mr 10 comes into our room and asks to put the pedistal fan on in his room he is hot. He has the overhead fan on high it’s a cool night and is raining. We tell him to go to sleep. He cry’s and go to bed. 10mins later he comes back into our room he can’t sleep we tell him to go to bed and there will be no games in the morning as this behaviour can’t continue. He has a meltdown. The house is now fully awake. He turns all lights on. He comes into our room another 10mins later he is still hot and can’t sleep. I am yelling and screaming now, My husband is yelling and screaming also. I give in and turn the pedistal fan on. We all go to bed upset. 15mijs later he comes back in he can’t sleep can he read. We are all upset I’m crying asking why he is doing this to us. he then says he will sleep in his brothers room. He comes back in 10 mins later saying he can’t sleep. I go into the room demanding why he is doing this to us crying and very over tired and upset. I ask if he thinks it’s a game: my son then takes the sheet off his body and puts it on the floor and then asks me to please get his blanket from his room to put on him. I loose my mind and make him go back into his own room. We all go back to bed. Yet again he comes in and says his hot, my husband looses it and throws his pedistal fan in the backyard we are all crying and yelling we put him in his bed and we now can’t go back to sleep we are to upset, I feel like My son has won and we have been held hostage in our house.
Once again 15mins later he comes out and says he can’t sleep. It’s now 4.16am we are broken. I have given him a phenergon so we can try get some sleep it is now 4.45am

what should I do to get out of this bad place and help my once happy home?

[Guest_7403]

Start taking the things he likes as punishment, let him scream the house down just don't give in

Put a latch on his door on the outside, lock him in the room when he starts this crap....

Remove the pedestal fan from his room...

Its all about assertiveness, the minute you rise to his level by screaming it's game over, when you cry he knows he's won.

Need to stay strong, show no sympathy and continue to stand your ground.

Eventually he'll give up

[Summer Rose]

Hi Mumsie123

Welcome to bb and thank you for sharing your story.

I can understand why you are frustrated and upset. It certainly is challenging to have your sleep and household disrupted in the middle of the night.

I think you need to find out a little bit more about why your son is waking up. Could he be having bad dreams? Feeling scared and needing comfort? Anxious about school the next day? Perhaps he is having trouble adjusting to his new teacher and classmates? I just have a feeling that there is more to this than poor behaviour.

Afterall he isn't just "doing this to you", this is also affecting him. It can't be much fun for him either and I'm sure the yelling and comotion is upsetting for him too (no judgement there, I'm a mum with two kids I get it?). He is also tired the next day. I just can't see why he would be doing this on purpose, do you?

Maybe try laying down with him and see if that helps him sleep tonight. Try talking with him tomorrow and have a chat with his teacher too.

Please let us know how you get on.

Kind thoughts to you