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I feel so heartbroken
I was feeling so lonely, depressed and sad in the last few weeks. My dad passed away when I was 16 and I’m still dealing with ptsd. I can’t sleep at night, I keep having nightmares and wake up like 20 times every night. I was talking to my partner earlier and I told him how I’m so depressed and lonely. He told me that I’m so ungrateful and spoiled, he said I just complain a lot and looking for a fight with him. He told me he is so exhausted. He said goodnight and left.
All I wanted from him Was to stay and hold my hands and tell me it’s ok, everything will be fine. I couldn’t turn my broken heart into anything more than a mosaic. It’s like my heart is bleeding. I feel a heavy pain in my chest. I wanna close my eyes and sleep. I want to forget everything, the past, the pain and all those memories that hurt a lot.
Despite everything I still don’t want to give up on my self, it hurts but I don’t want to give up.
Warm welcome to the BB Forums. I'm really glad to have you here with us.
Please accept my deepest condolences, and sorry to hear about what you're going through at the moment; having to deal with a heavy PTSD, as well as a broken heart. That's really hard on you to have to deal with two tough situations, let alone the disrupted nights from your nightmares as well. Please take as much time as you need to grief. Do you have any family or friends who you can reach out to for support? You could also give the BB Hotline a call at 1300 22 4636, they're available 24/7, and will be able to point you to the right direction if you let them know about your current situation.
I'm also really sorry to hear about the way your boyfriend left you... You deserve better Herat. Show yourself some self-love and care. If you feel like sharing anything else, or vent, or just have a chat, please don't hesitate to post on the forums. You have my ears, and the many other warm/caring and supportive members of the BB Forums too. Take care of yourself Herat.
Hello Herat, and a warm welcome.
Can I compliment Jt on the reply as I agree, and you aren't 'looking for a fight' with your partner and for him to up and leave is certainly not supporting you at all, but you're not giving up and by saying that, you will develop the strength to be able to move past this, but memories will still be there, but you will be able to handle them.
Try and write down the triggers that could be causing you to feel this way, then you will be able to know when or if they are approaching and being able to avoid them.
These triggers can change you from having a decent day to suddenly affecting you, and to begin you having negative thoughts that may linger on until the next day as well as the next few days, once you can avoid these, then you can allow yourself to become stronger, but it may take a couple of days for this to happen.
What you decide to do with your boyfriend is up to you, but if he's not there to help you now, then think about your future.