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I feel alone
Welcome to the community here. I believe everyone has a desire to need to feel loved, cared for accepted and validated. It is sad that people may be calling you names because of your desire to be loved, held and to feel special.
I find it is strange that some people in society still seem to think it is okay for a guy to sleep with a girl if he feels he has the need or right to, but if a girl wants to be friendly with a guy, she is sometimes given a label!
Do you have some male friends you can be with along with other people, so you have that sense of togetherness in a friendship? Maybe that might help a little with the desire for closeness and intimacy until you meet a guy who really cares for you.
I am wondering what your relationship is like with your parents? I was never close to mine so I was always looking for love and friendship in the wrong places for years until I was married.
Are you able to find more things you can do by yourself to help build up your sense of self and self esteem? The more I like myself the less I feel like I need someone else to love me in order to be worthwhile.
Hope this makes some sense to you!
Cheers from Dools
There are many people who are born to be part of a pair, I'm one. I can function by myself, but am truly happy and complete when going through life with a 'soulmate'. A bit of an overused word maybe, but it fits.
Before I met my first partner I felt like you, and knew that if I had the chance would cherish the other person back. I was lucky and found that person. When she passed away after 25 years I started to feel like you again but once more was lucky.
I'm nothing special and if it can happen to me twice it can happen to you.
As for the depression and anger, do you think those are things you should be getting help with?