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I did not see this coming

Community Member
Hi all. I realise I’m likely going to get some negativity here due to my stupidity and I’m as anxious as all hell, but anyone who has been through similar please feel free to reach out and tell me how I can get through this. 18 months ago my wife of 17yrs and I separated, three children. I met a lady 11yrs my junior (Im 45) and we have had an incredible time, travel overseas, quiet time, meeting friends, meeting my boys etc. we just spent an amazing Xmas and NYE together and we started discussing her moving in. Last night she told me she wasn’t feeling the spark enough and it was over. Way out of the blue. I moved a half hr away from my kids, have supported her emotionally through tough times with her ex and family and work and feel used. Did not see this coming. I am so heartbroken and confused and at my age, I don’t think I will ever feel the way I did about her with anyone else ever in the future. I suffer from anxiety and PSTD and I am just feeling so damn low (definitely not the S word though). Thanks everyone.
2 Replies 2

Summer Rose
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Phoenix4

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story.

I realise it takes courage to write your first post, so well done. Please know that you have arrived at a place of kindness and non-judgemental support.

I am very sorry that your relationship didn't work out and that you were blindsided by your girlfriend. Your heartache comes through clearly in your words and I wish there was an easy fix.

Unfortunately, getting over her will be a process that takes time. I don't know when you will feel better but I do know that in time you will. Hang in there.

I think it's really important to look after yourself right now. A healthy diet, exercise and good sleep are really important. It could also help to touch base with your GP or mental health practitioner (if you currently have one for the PTSD) to work through how you are feeling.

Reaching out and talking with friends and family could also beneficial. Is there anyone close to you that you can lean on right now?

Kind thoughts to you