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I am depressed because daughter is emotionally abused
As someone who has first hand dealt with domestic abuse from my father, i can imagine how heartbroken you may be feeling. Have you considered councilling as a family or do you see therapists separately? I'd say the best way to deal with these tricky situations is to talk about it and let your family know how you feel. I understand that because you are a Mother, you may want to appear strong and brave in front of your daughter, but showing her your more emotional side may actually be a method in helping her cope. I can't speak for you, as i have never met your husband, but in my case my father has a way of emotionally manipulating everyone to forgive him or to believe that he is a kind person. If you believe your husband may be manipulating you, take a step back to carefully digest the situation and how he is acting/what he is saying.
On another note, this may be something you don't want to hear, but if anything ever becomes physical, i'd say the safest thing for you and your daughter would be to stay somewhere else until your husband becomes less aggressive. Prioritise you and your daughters safety if this were ever to happen.