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Husband left without warning and im pregnant
Dear Madeline Q~
Welcome here to the Forum, it's a good place to come to see other's views, and that might help. There is no judgment and just the experience of others. We are a caring bunch.
I can say that I regard two people developing a long term partnership simply has to have certain qualities. Both need to love each other, enjoy being with each other, and have each others back -they should want to help ease their partner though the hard parts of life and be reliable and trustworthy, someone to have confidence in and lean on when necessary.
If there is a baby both should love it.
Really even with all that going for a couple it can be very hard, and having a baby is one of the hardest of times as relationships change, the man is no longer the main focus of attention and he now has extra responsibilities (and less sleep if he does his part).
So I guess if I was in your shoes I'd step back and see how many of those qualities you are sure he has. Poor mental health might be a reason for some behavior, though I doube that includes sleeping with another, it never did in my case. You will need constant support long term - or will end up a single mum, which is one of the hardest struggles one can have.
May I ask if you have any one to talk things over with? Maybe a family member or good friend. Not to fix things but just listen and care. Maybe offer more perspective. Often hope can blind a person.
Please come back and say what your think
Dear Madeline Q~
I've no answers to really guide you, your own instincts can do that better.
I will mention two things, the first being that having a baby puts pressure on both partners, and that can in itself lead to atypical behavior. It is after a all huge responsibility and commitment. That does take self-confidence, something many with depression lack.
This response to pressure, if that is what it is, may not just be limited to this situation, but may come up again as in normal life there are always hard times. It may be difficult to have someone who may not be able to deal with such things and have responsibility for the whole family .
Please beleive I am not rying to push you in any direction, just voicing the alternatives you probably have already considered. Do you think that now, as opposed to maybe later, is the best time to start a family?
Sorry to raise what might appear a cold and heartless subject.
I have had several thoughts about not going through with the pregnancy and I've come to the decision to keep it, as hard as its going to be. Unfortunately even if i wanted to i cannot abort where I live as its past the time they allow.
Hello Madeline, can I wish you a warm welcome because what's been happening is so difficult to understand, someone you love and conceived a baby with has broken your trust in two ways, firstly by not opening up to you and secondly sleeping with another person either intensely or not.
You have been deceived into believing that your partner was only yours and that he only loved yo, especially with a baby on its way, so the break of this relationship can cause the break of the love between the two of you, which leaves many unanswered questions which you won't know the answer to.
People may tend to seek counsel from another person when they are depressed, but you wouldn't ever imagine them to sleep together.
It's easy for someone to say they've had a bad day, we all have them, but it's a great skill to be able to cheer them up, but this won't happen unless you can get to first base, but totally changes when they have slept with another person, loyalty and honesty disappears.
He may seem to be doing OK at the moment, but can I ask you, are you ready to take him back when the bubble breaks, with the possibility of exactly the same happening once again.
If this happened to me I wouldn't accept any apology, unfortunately.
wow what a stinker! Sorry, I know you said you love him and you want him back, but it sounds like he’s not being very caring and supportive right now, and is only thinking about himself, which must be very difficult for you, esp being pregnant.
it is really very difficult being a single mum, I’m sure you know this tho. But, having said that, it can also be beautiful, and as long as you are supported and loved by the ppl in your life, and your baby has an extended family, you will be ok.
honey, I know your heart is breaking right now. There is probably no worse time to find that your relationship isn’t as solid as you thought it was!
and you don’t need my advice, becos you know your situation better than anyone. However if talking to him just makes things worse for you, it might be better to resist from that.
I’ll be thinking of you, and hoping for some peace and comfort for you and your little one.