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husband leaves 35 yr marriage with no warning
Hi table for 1, welcome here to beyond blue forums
And the reverse for men, because some men are abused, treated with contempt and left for other men. The focue at the moment with the media is abused women. But I was a man abused by silence and contempt with the odd face slap thrown in for merely disagreeing with her. Yet few media outlets want to know my story. It isnt popular enough.
Getting back to your plight I have great regard for your guts. It isnt easy to be thrown a rock all at once. I do think there is never a right or good time to tell a partner you are splitting. A little tact wouldnt go astray, you deserved some gentle treatment. My guess is he waited too long and by the time he wanted out he wanted it over and done with asap. Not nice.
Like everything in life though you can turn it around. Make the most of this new form of freedom albeit lonely, by dining other men for friendship. Many men do this now. They want a friend for a meal but not a date. So the first step there is just forming new friends and consolidating your old ones.
Travel. Do as you please for a while.
Hats off to you. Tony WK
Your approach to your grown up sons is spot on. Your husband much to his disgust has lost control of you. He cant bare that.
Enjoy your life. If your sons waver they wont waver for long. Being a loving mum you will have them all their lives in their heart.
Take care. Tony WK
Hi Table for 1,
Thanks for sharing your story with us! As Tony and yourself have both mentioned, it is not easy if your are male or female to be told that you are no longer loved or wanted!
I admire your courage, tenacity and spirit. On the practical side I am just hoping that you have a solicitor/lawyer or someone official assisting you with all the legal requirements so there are no legal hassles down the track.
As far as family goes, all you can do is to continue to love and care for your sons and they will have to form their own opinion as to what they believe.
Only you know what has happened to you. Your husband will have his own side to the story. Some people end up in huge fights and arguments for years that just add to the horror and trauma of the separation.
I hope you are able to continue to move forward and you start to find "yourself" and are able to do all the things you have always dreamed of doing!
Life will be different. New dreams will be created. You now have the power and the ability to do it your way!
Cheers to you from Lauren
dear Table for 1, hi and great to see that you have posted on this site.
We see in the paper congratulations to a couple who have been married for 60 odd years and wonder how they have been together for all of this time, after going through such hardship, wars, the depression years and then those arguments that they have had together, but they remain in a marriage, maybe today it's much easier to get a divorce, which maybe a good thing or maybe a bad idea, no one can say, but no one should ever have to be punished nor deceived by their partner/spouse.
We all go through life making mistakes but it's how we are to be forgiven and how we can then move forward again and accept what has happened.
All of this hasn't much bearing on your comment or maybe it has, in that now you are free, not by your choice, but has been forced upon you, so now what your ex says to you son, he then will decide whether or not any of what he says is at all true, but when there is love especially from their mum, then honesty and love will truly prevail.
You should be proud of yourself, 10 weeks has passed and this time could be a dangerous period, but who knows what your ex was doing for so long behind your back, but you are free now to do whatever you want, and you probably have a lot to catch up on.
Good luck. L Geoff. x
Hi table for 1
I can totally relate to your story as on April 13th my husband of 30 years did the same to me! He has worked away for the past 2 years and has constantly said he misses our family life and can't wait to be back home again. However, I felt he began to be a little distant for the past few months then in April he drops the bombshell that he wants a divorce! The old I love you but I'm not in love with you line. I thought we had a good marriage , all our family and friends cannot believe this is happening to us and think he is having some sort of midlife crisis. He's 48 and I am 49. I mostly have bad days where I don't even want to get out of bed but have to as I need to go to work! But occasionally getting better days. It's like living in a nightmare where you just want to wake up and have your old life back 😞 I do hope things work out for you and wish you all the best 🙂
I am so very sorry to read your story! I came upon it by chance. I would like to suggest, that if you can bear to tell your story again, that you start up a new post of your own so others can relate to you. As you have shared your story at the end of another thread I am not sure you will have very many people responding.
Once again I am so very sorry this has happened to you. Do you have a lawyer of your own? You mentioned a son, is he helping you with any of this? What about friends, can they give you help and advice as well?
It hardly seems fair that your husband just walks away and leaves you to cope with everything that needs doing.
I do so hope you have legal assistance in all of this!
Don't worry about the tears. They are to be expected and it is very hard to hold them back. Do you have people to support you at the auction?
Hopefully your true friends will keep standing by you and help you. Are you receiving any counselling at all to help you through this time?
I have asked a lot of questions here! I do encourage you to try and start up a new post of your own as I am sure you will receive more contact that way.
Thinking of you, from Lauren