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How to support someone via long distance - my marriage is in trouble

Community Member
My husband is currently in Perth while I am in Victoria. He has been there for eight weeks and with all of the issues around Covid I have not been able to visit him at all.

Being in such a tough situation we have both been depressed, and have now hit a snag in the relationship. He is in a bad place mentally, and does not have any support around him. What is worse is that I am not sure he realises how deep of a depression he is in.
I am trying to remain a beacon of light to guide him through the darkness, but he is pushing me away and I find that very hard to take sometimes.

Overall what I am looking for, is some advice on how to deal with him in his depressed state, how I can support him and get through to him.

We are seeing a couples counsellor online, due to have our second session next week. So in the meantime, I am doing my best but am interested to hear from others.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hello Jess1114,

Having the online counselling is good, if you have the option, video calls and communicating is always a good thing. He may be able to locate a Mens' Shed or similar community group, not specifically to talk but for some contact with people.



Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Jess1114,

Welcome to the forums. I'm really sorry to hear that you are currently physically distanced from your husband and haven't been able to see each other. It sounds like that's really taken its toll on your relationship, so it is good to hear that you are doing couples counselling to help get through this.

As Helarctus mentioned, it might be good for your husband to seek a community of his own while he is still alone there in Perth. I understand it can be really hard to deal with him pushing you away, especially when you are already so physically distant, but having his own space and people to talk to may also actually be what he needs, as he deals with the isolation over there. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by offering your help and going to couples therapy - I would just add that while you are going through this, it could be helpful to also consider what support you individually could use as well.

You mentioned that have also been depressed and are struggling to deal with the way that your husband has been treating you - is this something you've been able to share with any friends and family while he's been away?