How to deal with coming from a broken home
Since i can remember I never had a normal relationship with either one of my parents. My mother was an abusive alcoholic and my dad never wanted anything to do with me.I left home when i was 14 and have never had anything to do with either of them since. I think ive always struggled with depression even now in to my early 20's but ive never done anything about it, The thought of trying to seek help and talk to someone just scares me because i have no idea how to even open up to someone and I don't understand how someone repeating a bunch of words from a text book is suppose to fix me.
The older I get I'm starting to see how my bad childhood is starting to affect relationships in to my 20's, my incapability to stay motivated in life, I struggle to like myself and be able to open up to people. Is there anyone out there who has come from a similar background and can give me any advice? I want to be happy in life so badly but i feel like I cant win to make peace with myself.
Hi there Ruby
Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you so much for coming here and providing your post.
To say you’ve done it hard for such a long time now would be a massive understatement. Growing up through your teenage years without your parents must have been incredibly tough and I can’t imagine how you felt throughout that time.
But Ruby, just by coming here and posting has been a huge positive step for you. The initial seeking out for assistance; but I truly believe with all that you’ve been through, I think now is the time to hopefully take your next positive step – to make an appointment with a GP. I hear you when you say about someone repeating things from a text book, and yes, I can agree with that, as I’ve encountered situations like this; but you find these instances and move on. What you need is to get to people who deal with these kinds of issues regularly.
On this site, Beyond Blue have created a list of GP’s that can be searched for; hopefully in that search you’ll find at least one in your local area. These GP’s are on this site as they are all experienced in dealing with mental health issues and would have encountered so many different people and issues along the way; and from that, they’ll be able to properly diagnose you and if needed provide you with anti-depressant medication, as well as knowing your situation, they’ll be best placed to provide you with the most appropriate counsellor.
Also just wondering whether you have any other siblings or close friends who may be able to support you as well?
I also would really like to hear back from you.
Welcome to Beyond Blue. May I say how sorry I am to read of your struggles. You have had a hard start to life but it's not too late to improve.
You have made a great first step by writing in to BB. Talking to a psychologist or psychiatrist can be a frightening thought but it is not really scary when you start talking. They do tailor their discussions to the needs of the client and don't just regurgitate text books.
The first thing that usually happens is that you get to know each other a little. Nothing very dramatic. Information about your age and where you live, what family you have and perhaps a chat about your relationship with your family. It is different to going to your GP who usually asks, in one way or another, what's wrong with you, meaning are you in pain, got a temperature, feel nauseous etc.
A psych of course will need to know how you feel and what is upsetting you but not as bluntly or as quckly as a doctor. The situations are very different.
To know that you want to make peace with yourself is terrific and a huge motivation. The journey to let go our hurts can be difficult at times, but with courage you can get through it. I have been on such a journey and at times wanted to give up, but I think I am too stubborn.
Everyon'e experience of seeing a psychologist is different so I cannot tell you exactly what will happen in your circumstance. All I can suggest is that you go to your GP and tell him/her how you feel and ask for a referral to a psychologist. There is a lsit of GPs who have experience managing mental health situations under the tabs at the top of the page. Please explore these tabs, especially if you do not have a GP.
In addition there is much information about various mental health situations. You can send for any of these resources free of charge.
I will stop now and hope that you feel able to reply to me. I would like to know if my comments have been helpful and what else I can tell you or suggest.