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How Do You Get Out There?

Community Member

Can someone tell me what I would be doing wrong when I can't ever get a boyfriend or go out with friends. I am a more introverted person who works and stays at home as my two social places apart from shopping. What and where do you meet these sort of people and why does it seem to come so easily and naturally to other people to get someone special? Is it to do with the fact I don't have those Jlo looks , not obvious enough with flirting

What has worked for someone in the past?

23 Replies 23

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Little Miss Overthinker,

Thank you for your post- as someone without JLo looks I hear you!

I also noticed though you wrote "what I would be doing wrong" and later "who works and stays at home"... I'm wondering what situations you are putting yourself in where people can meet you? If there's a Mr Right or a Mr Right Now, how can they find you?

* Full disclosure I'm aware that with Coronavirus it's more difficult

rt 🙂

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor


Hm, I guess your alias gives you away a bit - while you are busy contemplating every aspect of how you are presenting yourself, and what others may or may not be thinking, projecting scenarios of dating, relationship, marriage, kids... oh, the opportunity has passed.

Although physical appearance can make you a beacon, true beauty emanates from within you (...when not being distracted by other thoughts). Just observing others for who they are, showing interest in what they are doing/saying, and offering yourself in ways to be of support, will project your personality and beautiful qualities resulting in you being noticed in return.



Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Little Miss Overthinker,

Tranzcrybe has hit the nail on the head, your name gives you away in this instance, little miss overthinker :)! There is absolutely no reason why you can’t have a boyfriend or go out with friends, that is perfectly within your power. I see plenty of normal people out there who are just average in their looks walking along with their partner. Not everybody is a supermodel out there but that doesn’t matter, you find people who you connect with. But the fact is that you are going to meet zero people sitting on your couch - you cannot classify staying at home as a social activity 😂 like you, I am an introvert and love staying at home and getting takeaway and watching movies. But when I was single, I knew that I had to get out and meet people if I wanted a partner because my social circle was fairly limited (due to my hermit tendencies). So I had to put up with a certain amount of discomfort being outside of my comfort zone, a means to an end if you will. And that meant online dating! I had to go on quite a few dates before I found someone I connected with, but I met some nice people along the way, and met some not so nice people that gave me some interesting stories lol. It’s just a matter of embracing it and getting out there. Obviously not super easy at the moment but you can always chat online for the time being and get to know people

Little miss

i feel that I would join a group that interests me . Of course that is hard now.
whether it be art, music, walking ‘kayaking anything where you meet people with a similar interest.

Okay but could you tell me what they mean by, my name gives it away please?


Your tag is little miss overthinker, so i’d say that they mean you are overthinking it. Dont worry about it.

what i mean is that perhaps spending time worrying what people think takes away time that you can spend on other things.

for someone who looks like a thumb (me) and fairly introverted, Married with kids, its pretty good evidence that looks are not at the top of the list.


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

LMO you just have to get "out there".

As others have pointed out... and probably the partner you WANT to attract... looks are not as important as you may think.

BTW Not_Batman does NOT look like a thumb omg lol.

Also what others have eluded to is that you may have to "kiss a few frogs before you meet the handsome Prince"... Not fun that part IME but taking your time getting to know ppl is the key to NOT kissing the wrong frogs. Or toads as the case may be.

My basic "go to" used to be going all out doing activities I LOVE. Even bike riding.
Doing these activities made me very happy and that can be extremely attractive in itself.
You'll also meet ppl who are into what YOU are into.

Funny story, I met a lady who was shocked when I told her this... she was having issues with her on & off bf at the time. She met him at a "Fix your own car" Course... she'd enrolled in that Course for the sole aim of meeting a man who COULD fix her car and become her bf lol.

Not only did she meet a man who couldn't fix cars either but they had very little in common, so it was a very frustrating r/ship for her at least.

Give these things a go and see how you go.

Remember meeting "someone special" is extremely special in itself and not as common as you may think... divorce rates are a tell tale sign, sadly.

Love EM

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

LMO...i think EM has summed it up in a good way there.

EM...I hope you dont know my true identity!?!


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

(Shhhh just between you and I, I DO know who you are! Bruce Wayne 🙂