- Beyond Blue Forums
- Caring for myself and others
- Relationship and family issues
- How do you cope with an verbally/emotionally abusi...
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Pin this Topic for Current User
- Printer Friendly Page
How do you cope with an verbally/emotionally abusive father?
Im in my early 20s living at home and my dad has always been a nightmare to deal with. In trying to understand my dad's toxic behaviour, Ive been able to conclude that he has severe narcissistic tendencies and aspergers syndrome.
On the narcissistic side, I would describe my dad as someone who has a complete lack of empathy for other people. He has an inflated sense of self and thinks he's better than everyone (until someone else proves to be in which he tears them down). He cannot take responsibility for his actions and will always blame something or someone else for his failings (including quitting his job as the sole bread winner in a fit of rage while supporting a family, and subsequently blaming everyone else when we almost became destitute). He is uncompromising and will fly into a rage as soon as anything doesnt go his way or there is stress in the system. He has jealousy problems and takes great delight in the misfortunes and tragedies of other people.
On the autism side, my dad cannot cope with changes to his set routine. The most minor thing such as someone knocking at the door while he's getting ready to go out somewhere will completely throw his whole day off. He constantly rubs people the wrong way. He obsesses over the same topics for day/weeks/months (which usually consists of criticising something or someone, or reliving the pleasure of someone elses misfortune repeatedly). He also often doesnt listen to people but becomes quite intense in conversation. He also shares the same behaviours as his father, who has been officially diagnosed with aspergers.
In addition to these, my dad is also very emotionally and verbally abusive, particularly towards my mother, but also more generally to strangers. It's really oppressive living at home but I cant afford to leave at the moment. Anyone know how to cope living with this kind of person?