How do I go about telling bad news to the kids

[kanga_brumby]

Recently I was diagnosed with a low grade cancer. I'm thinking about telling my children I'm 61 the kids are 18 and 15. They have already lost there mother to cancer ten years ago to cancer. Which was said to be a low grade cancer. Totally different area of the body. But how do I tell them without freaking them out. I'm scared what it will do to them physiology. Will it damage them if I tell them. That's freaking me out, should I tell them or not.

Kanga

[Just Sara]

Good morning Peter;

I'm so sorry to read about your situation. I can't imagine what it'd be like to have to do the same. I'm also sorry for the loss of your wife in such circumstances. It must be so distressing for you atm.

In view of your recent win at the Nursing Home, I'm wondering if there's counseling support at your end to nut out the details of this situation. It does bring up the issue again of not having MH professionals available, so I'm hoping management has someone for you to turn to.

Unfortunately, I don't have any answers for you, but support whichever way you feel necessary to move forward. My heart goes out to you hun.

Sincerely;

Sara x

[CMF]

Hi Kanga,

I'm so sorry to hear you have been given this news and for your past experience with cancer. First of all sending you a big hug. How much info have you been given? Have you discussed treatments etc as yet?

I'm thinking of it from this angle. My niece's mother in law was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. She didn't want to tell her children and family too much as she didn't want to distress them. This made it a little difficult for them not knowing the full story as they wanted to support her but were not fully aware of what what going on. I totally understand that you do not want your children to freak out, that is just part of the beautiful, caring person that you are, but remember that 10 years ago your children were a lot younger and may not have fully understood or known what to do. Now they are older, they will want to support you and be there as much as possible. They will also understand more and will deal with it differently.

I think they will want to know sooner rather then later. Perhaps your dr can sit down with all of you to tell the kids, then they can ask questions if needed?

Thinking of you my friend and here for you.

cmf x

[quirkywords]

Kanga

That is such sad news and a real dilemma for you.

You know your children better than anyone and so you would know what information they can manage.

I had a friend whose husband was very ill but she wanted to give her adult children hope and so did not tell them everything. The children asked me for information and I couldn't tell them anything as my friend had told me not to tell them. Of course it was her choice not to tell them how sick their dad was but the adult children felt they were being treated like young children.

I am think Cancer organisations would have information about how to tell children.

Thinking of you at this difficult time

Quirkywords

[kanga_brumby]

Sara, CMF and quirkywords thanks for getting back. Boy the dedication keeps following me at the moment. In time I think I will tell them. Just had a couple of friends visit me.

Found out for sure: I've been robed. Big screen, TV, DVD player, WII, and WII games all gone. No insurance no where enough money in bank to replace any of it. With what I have done with in the community, people I have helped. Only to be kicked to the curb, when I'm down. Only proves no good deed goes unpunished. Boy I must have been a rely good boy then. Because In the past I have had a camper-van stolen as well.

Kanga Still a grumble bum and angry as hell.