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How do I get through my breakup

Community Member

I'm normally pretty secretive about how I feel when it's not awesome. And things right now aren't so awesome. I'm not okay. I had been in a tough relationship for a few years and it ended recently. And while I've started tentatively dating again I'm still in love with my ex. I ended the relationship because it wasn't happy. For either of us. And because I don't know how to have made it work. We broke up once before and things just never got better.

But I still can't get over it. And I can't move on. I fell in love with who she was in the honeymoon phase not who she was in the rest of the relationship. But I still can't get past it. I'm rambling but hopefully this is enough to start a discussion. So. Please. I'm happy to hear any advice or comments and feedback.

2 Replies 2

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Omega

welcome to the forum. This is a safe, caring, friendly and supportive place.

I am sorry to hear you are not in an awesome place. I think that ending a relationship and knowing the reasons can make you very conflicted. I ended a very chaotic relationship once and people said I should be happy as I ended it. I knew it was the right thing but it was still painful and I grieved the loss.

You are not rambling at all. You are trying to work out your thoughts and feelings. Did you ever talk to her about how you felt or have counselling?

Maybe starting dating now could be complicated until you sort out how you feel. I think most people are different in the honey moon phase as reality of every day life is going to be different as there are so many other pressures and responsibilities.

Feel free to tell us more about yourself. Thanks you so much for sharing your story. This is one many will be able to relate to.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Omega

Welcome to the forum. It's sad when our relationships end no matter who did what. You are living without someone who was important in your life and now have this loss to mourn.

It takes time to come to terms with events of this sort so perhaps now is not the best time to look for another partner. You have not said how long it has been since the breakup. I know it's a cliché, but time is part of the healing process. I left my husband nearly 18 years ago and although I believe it was the right decision I grieved for a long while over my disappointment and hurt.

For me it was a huge change because we had children even though they were grown up and left home. It's always hard when I see him at family gatherings, not because I miss him or want him to return, but because of what might have been.

I suspect you are also in this position, grieving the loss of what might have been, and not sure how to regain that feeling of being loved and of loving. It is hard. Like Quirky I feel you may complicate your life by dating. I know it feels good to have a companion with you. Think of the feelings of the person you date. Are you ready to get up the last relationship yet? Give yourself time to rebuild your life before dating again.

Please write in again and talk to us about how you are feeling.