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How do I get out?
Hi, I'm looking for information that can help me get out of a toxic relationship. I live alone in a small country town in the middle of NSW. I don't have any friends here. I'm hours from family, most of which don't really care about me and the couple that do care don't have the means to help me. What services can I turn to to get me out of my home and take my children somewhere less toxic. I am on Centrelink and don't have the funds to spare for bond or transport as my bills and loans chew up what income I receive. I don't drive so can't just pack up a few things and leave.
I am so unhappy, depressed and recently attempted to hurt myself. My kids are the only thing keeping me sane. My husband keeps lying to me, stealing from me, using me to no apparent end. We have had so many problems and even though I accept responsibility for my part in making things difficult I feel like I am being emotionally abused. I spent the past twelve months trying to make my relationship work. I went to counselling, alone. I spent some time on anti-depressants. I tried to be more loving towards my husband even after being given every reason not to trust him. I live in constant fear that I am being cheated on. I own two cars I can't drive, my husband hides my keys knowing I can't do anything about it. I pay most of our living expenses because my husband doesn't work, leaving me to be a mum,wife, bank and loner in the weight of my responsibilities.
I need out. I can't stand being lied to anymore. I can't stand having my personal property kept from me. I can't handle watching my bank account balance tell me more money goes missing then my husband tells me he spends. I don't want to feel broken everytime my husband blames me for everything. How do I get out without destroying my children and livelihood in the process. I'm scared. Who can I turn to for help?
I'm very sorry to here of your situation. Your have set out an exact description of an abusive relationship, a most horrible way to be.
I guess as a stranger looking in I can only think of one action you can take, and that is to leave. I can also see the practical difficulties involved with little money, children and no transport, plus nowhere to go.
I would suggest contacting outside help, and perhaps as a start either our own 24/7 Help line on 1300 22 4636 who hopefully will be able to point you towards the correct services
24hr Domestic Violence Line on 1800 65 64 63.
Although this organization is named Domestic Violence it does cater to your sort of situation.
1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) who also try to locate appropriate services
It may take a while to find the right help, however these are good starting points.
You did say there was a couple that did care - even if they can't help directly. Just having someone to talk to can make you feel less alone so it's good they are there for you.
This is an enormous problem for you and I don't know that it can be solved quickly. There are many things to do, from moving, finding accommodation to rearranging your Centerlink payments to cut your husband's access.
Please know you can talk here as often as oyu wold like and we will be here