How can she see what she is doing?

[Wiseowl]

My daughter's partner died suddenly of a drug related heart attack, she found him, his mate moved in to 'comfort' her and took over, when she told him she needed space he reacted violently, now has a VRO on him, is always around lurking, she has found a girl friend (an ex of his) to protect her but meanwhile her daughter is with her grandies who love her until mum wants her back, then it starts all over again. Says she is not on drugs but was found high as a kite and regularly smokes weed. She is easily manipulated, was a family orientated person now appears self centred and solely focused on herself to the detriment of her daughter at only 19 months. What or how does one do something to reawaken the lost part of her that was family centred, decent and caring. My main concern is my granddaughters wellbeing which is being turned upside down by being left with us then taken back after ten to fourteen days, kept for seven then returned. I would like to have her until her mother realises she needs to get a grip of herself and realise who is the most important, the one she professes to love and miss or herself.

[geoff]

hi Wiseowl, this is a very sad and unfortunate situation, where the mum of the daughter has been trying to hide that she doesn't take drugs or smoke weed, because if her partner, who is now deceased, took drugs there is every chance that she too has been taking them as well.
It will take quite awhile before she will be allowed to get her daughter, purely because there is a chance she may fall back into smoking weed and possibly take any other drugs, it's a real shame for daughter who has to grow up with the knowledge that her mum is on drugs.
She is the one who has to decide that she no longer wants to do drugs, no one can talk to her until they are blue in the face pleading with her to stop, it has to come from her, and realise that she does have a daughter.
Her daughter is young but she needs stability, however you may have to go to court to make this determination, because what could happen is that the mum may demand at some stage to have her daughter back, but if the court agrees for you to have her then she won't be allowed. Geoff. x