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How can I let go, move on, find peace

Community Member

I've been feeling this way for more than 6 months.

I've been obsessed with someone I cannot be with. I am in a long term relationship and it is good and something I need to hold on too. I love my partner but I'm also in love with this other person. Knowing the other person is dating makes me extremely jealous and crushed. I try my best to avoid this person and I think I am gradually distancing myself and it may be working. It is so hard though. I need to move on because I do not want to be with this other person in reality. I feel like I'm splitting into 2. So much so that I often feel lonely and physically disconnected from reality.

I was stressed and unmotivated at work, so I quit with a game plan to advance my career and I'm currently looking for work. It is looking positive but change is hard. I feel like am forcing change on myself and I will find new problems and adventures to keep me occupied eventually.

Sometimes all I want is peace and an end to these obsessive thoughts of an unattainable person. What can I do?

3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi lalatray, welcome

This is not uncommon. In fact doctors, psychs, counsellors dentists, you name it when they have a customer that is attractive they have to remember they are professional people and that attraction is normal but they put up the boundaries because they have to.

So don't feel guilty but keep your thoughts to yourself and keep faithful because these intrusive fantasy thoughts are normal. You are doing the right thing to distance yourself from this person.

You also have issues looking for work so focus on those and time will heal with this other person and your feelings.

Regards Tony WK

Thank you for the support Tony WK.

Hi white knight and anyone reading this,

An update - I am doing much better in time.

I focused my time in crisis on looking for work and have succeeded in getting a new job that is interesting and rewarding.

I still think about said person and it is very hard at times no to, but now I see things with more clarity about how it was an abusive and manipulative emotional relationship. No contact certainly helps.

I try my best not to ruminate and fill my life with activities and meaning. The last time I could not fathom healing, but now, I think I am. Thank you.