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Hi, this is my first post! Newbie!

Community Member


im not really sure where to start my story. I was in a relationship for a few years, and although it seemed happy from the outsiders looking in I was very unhappy and my ex was very controlling and emotionally abusive (even if he didn't think so). It was very hard to remove myself from that relationship but when I did he seemed to be ok with it... until I met someone else. And then i went through I rough time with constant harassment via mobile, ringing me all day and leaving voicemails. Sending threats to my new partner, posting nasty things about me on social media and then even sending explicit photos of myself to his mates and my new partner. I reported all of this to the police, although he then forced his way into my home, and threatened my life and my daughters. Once I was given an intervention order I stopped hearing from him. I was happy that it was over, although it wasn't really. I get scared being at home alone, I worry I will run into him in public, I panic every time my phone rings. And I sit up at night crying. I think maybe it affected me more than I first thought.

its hard to talk to friends and family about this as I feel embarrassed and feel I am over reacting.

any advice or support is greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Kates, welcome

You didnt do anything wrong. If you feel you have to move to feel safe go two suburbs away only.

You are the victim not the perpetrator. He doesnt own you. This is a common problem mainly with some men.

Time will heal. These sorts of violent events leave us scared with PTSD, anxiety and depression.

I hope you feel comfortable here.


Topic: guilt the tormentor- beyondblue

Tony WK

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Kates17,

Just be thankful that you got out before things got worse. Too many times controlling and emotional abuse are the lead up to more dangerous types of abuse. There is no way you are overreacting. You have 100% full right to feel scared, worried and upset. I remember sitting up at nights, waiting, listening and being afraid of every creak in the house. Then trying to function the next day after no sleep and being on edge all night.

Please do not feel embarrassed. You should feel proud that you had the brains and the bravado to leave when you did. Now it's just about taking the time to heal and become stronger so you no longer feel scared.

You go girl! Very proud of you.