Hi Everyone

[Epip23]

Hi 👋🏻

I am here hoping to find people to talk to. With every year older I get, I also get more isolated and lonely. It feels like my problems are only getting worse with time, no matter how hard I try. It’s at the point now where I’m becoming exhausted. I’m so lonely and so alone. I only have 2 people in my life and I’m not able to lean on those people for various reasons. Sometimes I feel like I’m so used to being alone that I’m becoming comfortable with it and other times it hurts a lot. I grew up in a traumatic environment where I was not safe, loved or wanted, and it feels like this is just affecting me more and more the older I get. The loneliness causes me to reach out to people I already know are toxic, just so I don’t have to be lonely, and of course it always ends badly.

[Clear82]

Hey Epip23 

We are all here for you and here to listen. So you are definitely never alone!

I’m here if you wanna talk more too.

Also have you looked at the app called meet up it has a number of different things you can join to meet people

[White_Rose]

Dear Epip23 

Hello and welcome to the forum. So pleased you found your way here and want to talk to us. Reaching out to toxic people is not good as you know but sometimes it feels better than having no one at all. It's a really tough situation.

May I ask about your increasing loneliness? I gather the people who have been in your life are no longer there and has resulted in your increasing isolation. Is this correct? Also what activities or hobbies did you have a while ago? Can you revive any of them. I know it's not the same and not a substitute for being with others. We are gregarious race and need the comfort of being with others.

Your childhood sounds unpleasant and perhaps taught you to avoid people at times. Being unsafe and unloved is a horrible situation. Have you ever talked to anyone about these experiences? By that I mean your GP or a counsellor. Getting help in this area may help you to settle more easily where you are and give you the skills to meet others. What do you think?

Having been part of a couple of toxic relationships myself I have some idea of the dilemma you are in. It can be so difficult to move away from people however much you know they are bad for you.

Can you post in again and tell us a little more about yourself? Do you go to work or have you retired? Do you have any family? What can you tell us without feeling you are unsafe. This is a safe place to be as no one knows who you are and you will certainly not be abused on this forum.

I would love to hear from you again.

Mary

[StgCrw]

Hi and welcome.

I’m also pretty new here, and am also having a hard time with social isolation, so it’d be great to chat further if you’re up to it, it doesn’t matter what it’s about

What sort of thing interests you? It might be worth looking into joining a club, it’s a great way to meet new people, and there are groups for just about anything these days.

I’m not sure if it’s applicable, but the mens shed movement might be worth looking into, and there are a few women’s sheds starting to appear as well. These are a great way of meeting new people of all ages and backgrounds in a friendly environment.

Hope you’re doing OK, and it’d be great to hear from you again.

[White_Rose]

Hello StgCrw

Welcome to the forum. Good to meet you.

Interesting that there are women's sheds appearing. I think women have the same need as men to be with other women in a supportive environment. While the focus is on learning new skills the men's sheds participants have found it a safe place to talk about mental health. I hope women will find this also.

Mary

[Epip23]

Hi, thanks for taking the time to reply to me. Unfortunately I live in a remote town and there’s no meet up here, but I have heard of it. Thanks for your suggestion.

[Epip23]

Hi Mary, thanks for your reply. Unfortunately it’s only getting worse. It’s almost unbearable now. In regards to activities and hobbies, i haven’t been able to find anything I could call a hobby, the long term depression and other mental health issues has affected my concentration and focus, I can barely think of what the next word I want to use in a sentence is. I am a single mother I’m only able to get casual work cause I live in a tiny town so I just don’t have any money at all to go and find something I enjoy. Thanks for the suggestion though, it would definitely help to have a hobby to spend time on, I can see that. I used to live in Sydney and I tried to find a hobby but I think I’m just too despondent, I can’t do anything. The best I do is walk my dogs, I try to walk them each day.

Out of my family I only have my brother that I can talk to, everyone else has abandoned me. I’ve noticed this year though that if I try to talk to him something else comes up and he needs to hang up, he has a pregnant wife and 2 small children so his own life and his own issues are his priority at the moment, and I understand that completely. So he’s not someone I can lean on. I had a best friend who I loved and was very loyal to but she ghosted me in May last year with no explanation. I have a child but I don’t want to talk to him about these things of course. I already feel like I’m failing at that as it is. My parents put me through hell so that’s a no go.

Every single person that has ever loved me or who I have loved has abandoned me, with the exception of my son but I feel like when he’s older he’ll do the same. Everyone does. I honestly do everything I can to be a good person, help people, be honest and trustworthy, and it just doesn’t matter, I still never get to feel love. When I was young I was always told I was unlovable, many times, “it would take a saint to love you” and things like that. So in my adult life I have tried to find love too many times, screwed up at it too many times, now I’m so tired and worn down that this year I had the thought for the first time in my life that they may be right. The fire inside me to prove them wrong has died out, and I’m just realising that they are probably right. And it’s honestly breaking my spirit.

[Epip23]

Thank you so much for your suggestion.
unfortunately I’m isolated physically too, I live in a small town with no groups to join. I feel like even if there was that that would be beyond me now, I’m at a point where I can barely have a conversation with anyone anymore. I work a couple of days a week and I manage to keep my emotional mask on for that time at least, but I find it impossible to connect with other people anymore.
I did tell my gp that I need my medication reviewed because I feel like I’m going downhill and she said that I’d need to go to a psychiatrist. I wasn’t excited because I’ve tried the psychologist and psychiatrist route 100 times but I did it, because I knew I was drowning. Waited the 4 months until the one who travels here had a spot and when I got in I explained the situation in a matter of fact way and she said (from within 30 minutes of meeting me mind you) that not only would she not recommend new medication, she would actually recommend I take no medication at all, she said she didn’t agree with my previous diagnoses she said instead that I was autistic and Medication wouldn’t help that. I got up and walked out. I know for a fact I’m not autistic, I have a special needs son and I have been through the testing process with him 3 times. So all that to say that now I also feel it’s hopeless to try and professional help again. Luckily my gp also thought it was ridiculous and I’m still allowed my original medication, not that it helps much.